Proverbs 31: 10-11
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
I've been sharing with some of my friends this desire of mine to study the "Proverbs 31" wife... the "Wife of Noble Character". I get many of the same responses as I had initially - That woman is SUPER WOMAN... I couldn't be her if I tried. After reading it, I know that I am NOT her. Not. even. close! I think that God wants me to consider what I CAN be, based on the description of this "woman" - who again, I don't think is ONE woman, but characteristics of a woman who would make a good wife. The wife of noble character doesn't have to have all of these characteristics - although some I think are required, like the one I am focusing on this week - but not all of them. There are some things that are described that women today just don't do. We don't buy a field and plant it. We don't make our own linens and sell sashes - but we do some equivalent things, and I guess I will consider those as I get to them. But this week, I focused in on the word "confidence". Not just confidence, but FULL confidence. I started just by looking this word up in the dictionary, and I got this definition:
full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliabilityof a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.
I feel like my husband has confidence in me, considers me trustworthy. I just sent him an e-mail to work though, with the definition from above and we'll see if my "feeling" is accurate. I'll let you know what he says - seriously, I will. If I want to be the wife that God wants me to be, I need to be honest with myself, and my opinion of my abilities really doesn't matter. It's a matter of what my husband thinks and if I'm striving to meet God's standard.
When he tells me something, and asks me not to repeat it, I don't. Or, if I feel like I need to tell someone what he has told me, I ask him first if I can. But "full confidence" is much more than that.
"full trust" - does my husband trust me. With EVERYTHING. That, I'm not so sure about. I think that he trusts me to be true to my word. But does he TRUST me with everything - I doubt it. There are a couple areas of life that we have a difference of opinion on - well really, only one. And it's not that we really even have a difference of opinion, we just have a different perspective. I have a hard time talking about this one particular area - why? Because I think I'm right, of-course (I know, it's a pride issue). So, since we have a hard time talking about it, we tend to avoid the subject - which I guess is fine. It's not something that we have to talk about on a regular basis - but when something comes up where he might like to talk about it, I don't think that he feels that he can. In fact, I KNOW he doesn't feel as though he can. We've even talked about that before. Rather than go into the full details about this one area, let's just say, it's a matter of opinion, and my husband should be able to state his feelings / opinion to me, without me getting all defensive. It's an area where I can learn to improve.
Ok, so Tim just responded to my e-mail. He said yes, he has full confidence in me, that I'm reliable and trustworthy. I guess off the top of his head, that is good enough. He is not a man of many words :)
My trustworthiness needs to go beyond my relationship with my husband though - or else it's not my TRUE character. Do my friends consider me trustworthy? Does my husband think I gossip? Do my children trust me with their feelings? When I make a commitment, do I keep it (I think that would be more about reliability, but still the question fits).
I have recently encountered a pretty difficult situation with work. I'm out on medical leave, but still, I'm caught up in the middle of it all. It is a very emotional situation for me, and I get very upset about certain things that have taken place. There are people at the center of the situation that I disagree with. When I'm around people from work, I tend to talk about it. And I don't speak highly of the people who contributed to the situation. I feel as though I gossip. I've felt convicted about it, and I'm working on it. The fact that it's an emotional situation where the stakes are high, a very stressful situation doesn't give me an excuse to gossip - and I have been using it as an excuse to gossip. I truthfully think God used this situation to point this out in me. I've found myself an accountability partner (one from work, who I normally talk about the work situation with - so she would know when I'm falling into this habit) and told her about my struggle and asked her to help me with it. I need to learn to do better. Speaking the truth is one thing, but sharing information above and beyond that is gossip. It, in my mind, would make me not trustworthy to my friends.
Reliable. I think most people you talk to, who know me, will tell you that I'm reliable. If I say I'm going to do something, then I do it. If I make a verbal commitment, then I follow through. If I tell Tim I'll do something, that I'll take care of something, then I do. Sure, there are times that I forget, but that I don't think makes me unreliable.... because I think that is the exception rather than the norm. Everyone forgets at times. I have always considered "reliability" as an important personal characteristic. If you are unreliable - you are not being considerate of others. You are putting yourself before others, being inconsiderate of their time, or their needs. To be unreliable means, in my opinion, that you have turned the focus onto yourself. Reliability is really about others... the expectations you have given others about yourself. It's not just in terms of commitment, but in terms of character. Is my character reliable? Is it consistent. Do I say one thing and then do another? If so, I"m not reliable. Do I make commitments with others and then not follow thru? Do I over commit so I CAN'T follow through? If so, I'm not reliable. I think this is one area where I can say yes, I am doing well in this area. Could I do better? Sure, but I think I've worked hard to have others consider me reliable. My husband considers me reliable, I would guess that my friends and family do as well. Again, things come up, but they are the exception and not the rule when I have to fall back on a commitment.
I think I'm going to enjoy my walk with the Proverbs 31 woman. I think taking apart the verses and then pondering on one area a week is a good thing.... not too much to chew on, and not too much to beat myself up about. What I think I will find is that I'm good at some things, really bad at others, and some areas just need improvement. I guess it's not really "beating yourself up" about it, if you are just discovering the truth of the word and doing an honest assessment against it.
In Christ,
Charity
Monday, January 16, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Recipes and Proverbs 31
So, some friends and I were on F@cebook the other day. The discussion started around menus.... what was everyone fixing for their family for the week. Sometimes, it's hard to come up with different options for your family, and as hard as you try, you can't think of new things on your own... so you stay with the tried and true (aka - eventually boring!). So, Rebekka posted her menu plan for the week. We all chimed in and started talking about how we need to share our menu plans so we can all have new ideas to share with our family. Then came the idea that not only do we need to share our menu plans, but obviously if there is something on there that we like, we will want to know how to make it, so we will need to share our recipes too. I was ALL about that. So, I asked if we could start a blog - AND WE DID.
Rebekka set up the blog (I had volunteered to, but didn't know how to set it up where multiple people could be contributors - she did - THANKS REBEKKA) and named it Proverbs 31 Cook . What a great name - I mean, ideally, isn't the Proverbs woman what we all want to be? What we all should aim to achieve?
We just set up the blog, but there are already a bunch of recipes on there, and I'm hoping the catalog of recipes becomes HUGE. I dream of holidays where we all put our favorite cookie recipes on there, or treats for hot summer days... whatever - just a place where we can all meet, share and provide a larger variety of good, home cooked meals for our families.
But then I got to thinking.... for me at least, maybe it should be more than just a blog - more than just a place where I can go get recipes for my family. I felt convicted that for me, it needed to be something more. So, I opened up Proverbs 31 - and read the section on "The Wife of Noble Character". Ok - this woman does EVERYTHING!!! She has like 120 hours in a day, she cooks, cleans, sews, sells, serves others, grows her own food, does the laundry, mends clothes, makes comforters, knits, takes care of her children - oh yeah, and about her children - they arise and call her blesses and they praise her - her husband also.
Now mind you, I'm not mocking the bible. NOT. AT. ALL! I don't think that what the bible was writing about with regard to this Wife of Noble Character - was something that this wife does every day. One woman may not even do all of these things. I think that this is just something that women should strive to do. Maybe they can't master everything, but women can master not being idle. And when you master not having idle hands, then you learn so much more about what you CAN do!
So, what started out as a way to share recipes and menu planning has now become a personal bible study for me. I'm going to delve into the qualities of this "Woman of Noble Character" and see what can be done, in my life, to make me just a bit more like her. I know I can't do it all, but there are changes that I CAN make and as I slowly take apart the traits of this woman, I may learn something about myself that needs to be changed.
So, that being said - if you are offended by the idea of how women are portrayed in the bible, then you might not like my posts for awhile, because I'm going to start writing weekly about what I have learned about this woman. I'm going to make changes in my life, where necessary, to achieve more of what GOD wants me to look like, rather than what I or the WORLD want me to look like. Some look at the woman portrayed in this passage as "domesticated". She is pretty much a servant to her family. I don't think this is the case at all. She is a CRITICAL part of the success of her family, of the stability of her family. She is a woman with many talents. It will be interesting to see how God prompts me to change my life, my habits through this study.
I'll start on Monday - the first verse I'll be looking at (and I'll just take them apart, in order, in chunks that are good for me to swallow) is as follows:
Proverbs 31: 10-11
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
That will be the verses that I will meditate on this week. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it and plenty of examples of how I can modify my ways to greater glorify God through what I do in my home!
In Christ,
Charity
Rebekka set up the blog (I had volunteered to, but didn't know how to set it up where multiple people could be contributors - she did - THANKS REBEKKA) and named it Proverbs 31 Cook . What a great name - I mean, ideally, isn't the Proverbs woman what we all want to be? What we all should aim to achieve?
We just set up the blog, but there are already a bunch of recipes on there, and I'm hoping the catalog of recipes becomes HUGE. I dream of holidays where we all put our favorite cookie recipes on there, or treats for hot summer days... whatever - just a place where we can all meet, share and provide a larger variety of good, home cooked meals for our families.
But then I got to thinking.... for me at least, maybe it should be more than just a blog - more than just a place where I can go get recipes for my family. I felt convicted that for me, it needed to be something more. So, I opened up Proverbs 31 - and read the section on "The Wife of Noble Character". Ok - this woman does EVERYTHING!!! She has like 120 hours in a day, she cooks, cleans, sews, sells, serves others, grows her own food, does the laundry, mends clothes, makes comforters, knits, takes care of her children - oh yeah, and about her children - they arise and call her blesses and they praise her - her husband also.
Now mind you, I'm not mocking the bible. NOT. AT. ALL! I don't think that what the bible was writing about with regard to this Wife of Noble Character - was something that this wife does every day. One woman may not even do all of these things. I think that this is just something that women should strive to do. Maybe they can't master everything, but women can master not being idle. And when you master not having idle hands, then you learn so much more about what you CAN do!
So, what started out as a way to share recipes and menu planning has now become a personal bible study for me. I'm going to delve into the qualities of this "Woman of Noble Character" and see what can be done, in my life, to make me just a bit more like her. I know I can't do it all, but there are changes that I CAN make and as I slowly take apart the traits of this woman, I may learn something about myself that needs to be changed.
So, that being said - if you are offended by the idea of how women are portrayed in the bible, then you might not like my posts for awhile, because I'm going to start writing weekly about what I have learned about this woman. I'm going to make changes in my life, where necessary, to achieve more of what GOD wants me to look like, rather than what I or the WORLD want me to look like. Some look at the woman portrayed in this passage as "domesticated". She is pretty much a servant to her family. I don't think this is the case at all. She is a CRITICAL part of the success of her family, of the stability of her family. She is a woman with many talents. It will be interesting to see how God prompts me to change my life, my habits through this study.
I'll start on Monday - the first verse I'll be looking at (and I'll just take them apart, in order, in chunks that are good for me to swallow) is as follows:
Proverbs 31: 10-11
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
That will be the verses that I will meditate on this week. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it and plenty of examples of how I can modify my ways to greater glorify God through what I do in my home!
In Christ,
Charity
Thursday, January 5, 2012
A new year, a new JOURNEY
Before you start to get your hopes up and let your mind wander as to what type of JOURNEY we are on.... I'll just clear the air right now. It's not another adoption journey (not as of yet anyway.... :)
I wanted to share with you all (the few faithful followers that I have) the new JOURNEY we are on. It's a Christ-centered, relationship-building, experience-sharing, unity-forming, friendship-developing, family-resembling, wisdom-seeking, growth-encouraging group of people, assembled together, each Wednesday night - to JOURNEY through life together - with a few simple goals in mind... focusing on Christ, ministering to each other and ministering to our community. It's a new group and I'm so excited that Tim and I are a part of it.
We joined this "small group" or "Journey group" through our church. We have been in and out of this church for quite some time, but have not found ourselves "planted" there. It is a big church and it's easy to get in and get out - unless you have a reason to stick around. I've developed a relationship outside of the church with a mom of one of Cameron's friends. Her husband leads our Journey group. We decided on the Journey group as a way to be "planted".
The Journey Group is a new concept to this church. Basically, it's this. It's seven defined couples, who meet together weekly (the couples never change), hopefully develop trust and friendships amongst one another and we meet each Wednesday to discuss the message from the previous Sunday, touch base mid-week, do some application, and finally for fellowship (and of-course, some good food). Besides growing in God's word, the goal of these groups is to really develop a "family" within the church... a small group of people who you can really get to know, share with and rely on.
How many people can you call at 3:00 in the morning, because you have a prayer need that is really bothering you and you need someone to talk to, or to just pray with/for you? Maybe you find yourself in the midst of some temptation that is going to take you off of that straight and narrow road, and you need someone you can trust to talk to... someone who has taken the time to get to know you, who you know CARES about you, and who you know will pray for you. Your Journey family is that group of people who you know you can call in the middle of the night. Sure, in a real emergency, I guess you can talk to the pastor, give him a call - but maybe you want to call a FRIEND... or maybe your concern is not "pastor-necessary" just "faithful friend" necessary. You call your Journey family.
It was day 1 of our Journey group today and I really don't think I've ever felt more at home. Now, mind you - there were five at least partial couples (some "better halves" were missing from a few groups due to illness) that I had never met before in my life. I've probably never even seen them at church - and somehow, instantly, I felt comfortable in this group of people. They are all distinctly different people. Some have small children, some have grown children, some have grandchildren - but they were all there for one purpose and one purpose only - to meet, and to establish relationships to unify the body of Christ.
I personally have a hard time establishing relationships in a large, group setting. Having this small group meeting, at someone's house, with seven couples that NEVER change, is perfect for me. When I was first learning about these Journey groups, they were described to me as "life groups"... a group of people you journey through life with - people you can share the ups and downs with, people who you will be comfortable when they, as Christians, walk through the valley with you in times of need, and who stand on the mountain top with you when you celebrate life's victories! I'm really looking forward to learning more about each of the couples in our group, getting to know their families, ministering to each of them and sharing God's Word with them!
If I've learned one thing recently, it's that God speaks to people differently through His Word, and that you can learn something from each application that someone shares with you. Something you never thought of, becomes clear through sharing God's Word with a friend. With 14 friends, the applications are endless!
I'm really looking forward to what God is going to reveal to me through this group! Looking forward to all 2012 has to offer and seeing where this "Journey" will take us!
In Christ,
Charity
I wanted to share with you all (the few faithful followers that I have) the new JOURNEY we are on. It's a Christ-centered, relationship-building, experience-sharing, unity-forming, friendship-developing, family-resembling, wisdom-seeking, growth-encouraging group of people, assembled together, each Wednesday night - to JOURNEY through life together - with a few simple goals in mind... focusing on Christ, ministering to each other and ministering to our community. It's a new group and I'm so excited that Tim and I are a part of it.
We joined this "small group" or "Journey group" through our church. We have been in and out of this church for quite some time, but have not found ourselves "planted" there. It is a big church and it's easy to get in and get out - unless you have a reason to stick around. I've developed a relationship outside of the church with a mom of one of Cameron's friends. Her husband leads our Journey group. We decided on the Journey group as a way to be "planted".
The Journey Group is a new concept to this church. Basically, it's this. It's seven defined couples, who meet together weekly (the couples never change), hopefully develop trust and friendships amongst one another and we meet each Wednesday to discuss the message from the previous Sunday, touch base mid-week, do some application, and finally for fellowship (and of-course, some good food). Besides growing in God's word, the goal of these groups is to really develop a "family" within the church... a small group of people who you can really get to know, share with and rely on.
How many people can you call at 3:00 in the morning, because you have a prayer need that is really bothering you and you need someone to talk to, or to just pray with/for you? Maybe you find yourself in the midst of some temptation that is going to take you off of that straight and narrow road, and you need someone you can trust to talk to... someone who has taken the time to get to know you, who you know CARES about you, and who you know will pray for you. Your Journey family is that group of people who you know you can call in the middle of the night. Sure, in a real emergency, I guess you can talk to the pastor, give him a call - but maybe you want to call a FRIEND... or maybe your concern is not "pastor-necessary" just "faithful friend" necessary. You call your Journey family.
It was day 1 of our Journey group today and I really don't think I've ever felt more at home. Now, mind you - there were five at least partial couples (some "better halves" were missing from a few groups due to illness) that I had never met before in my life. I've probably never even seen them at church - and somehow, instantly, I felt comfortable in this group of people. They are all distinctly different people. Some have small children, some have grown children, some have grandchildren - but they were all there for one purpose and one purpose only - to meet, and to establish relationships to unify the body of Christ.
I personally have a hard time establishing relationships in a large, group setting. Having this small group meeting, at someone's house, with seven couples that NEVER change, is perfect for me. When I was first learning about these Journey groups, they were described to me as "life groups"... a group of people you journey through life with - people you can share the ups and downs with, people who you will be comfortable when they, as Christians, walk through the valley with you in times of need, and who stand on the mountain top with you when you celebrate life's victories! I'm really looking forward to learning more about each of the couples in our group, getting to know their families, ministering to each of them and sharing God's Word with them!
If I've learned one thing recently, it's that God speaks to people differently through His Word, and that you can learn something from each application that someone shares with you. Something you never thought of, becomes clear through sharing God's Word with a friend. With 14 friends, the applications are endless!
I'm really looking forward to what God is going to reveal to me through this group! Looking forward to all 2012 has to offer and seeing where this "Journey" will take us!
In Christ,
Charity
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Reality Hurts
We were standing in the kitchen this evening, talking about our day, Christmas shopping, things to do tomorrow... and I started talking about Ethiopia. I'm thinking about going with a friend on a mission trip in June. She is going to help train nurses there... I'd just be going to love on the little ones in the orphanage. I'm thinking about taking Sara with me. Anna was standing there eating ice cream, and I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She said 'Yeah, sure". I asked her what she would do while she was there. She didn't know. I asked her if she would want to play with the kids in the orphanage - and she said yeah.
I want my kids to understand that what they have, is not what most people have. I told her how the kids in the orphanage might not look that cute, or be too clean. Their clothes might not match and they might not smell the best.....but they are kids and they just want people to play with them.
Then it happened - my eight year old daughter said "kids in the orphanage are like that". I stopped listening at the word "orphanage". My stomach hurt and I instantly wanted to puke. Hearing that word come out of her mouth - I think for the very first time - nearly killed me. My eyes teared up instantly. She was there... she was one of them.
She wore mismatched clothes. She didn't smell good. Her hair - well... there wasn't much of it... they had given her a buzz cut. She was an orphan. It's strange how you forget that. It's strange how you can't imagine your child starting her life in that environment. You reject the thought. Every molecule of me knows that she did start there - but every molecule of me forgets it as well.
She is not an orphan....
She is my daughter.....
She was one piece of paper away from not being mine. She was one decision away from not having a family. I guess she could have gone to another family - except that God had her planned for mine. What if I had not gone? What if I had decided on another country? What if.....
I'm not sure why it hit me so hard today. I guess because she said that word. She shouldn't have to say that word "orphan". She shouldn't have to understand what it means. She should not have to think about the fact that she was there. She should not have to wonder - as I'm sure she someday will - what if.....?
What if my mom didn't come?
What if I was older and no one wanted me?
What if I was still there?
It's a part of adoption that you don't really think about in the beginning. In the beginning you think about the great need for children to have a family. You think about the child you will be adding to your home. You even think about your fears as to whether or not this child will fit into your family - then all your fears are removed when that child is placed into your arms.... but you don't think about 7 years down the road - when your daughter is eating ice cream in the kitchen and she says that word. You don't think about how it will make you feel - sick to your stomach. You can't even begin to imagine how she must feel - starting to understand what it all means.
I wanted to take my children with me to Ethiopia to get a better understanding of what they have here at home. I wanted them to appreciate more, become more compassionate for those who have less - much less....
But do I really want Anna to see the truth of what was? Part of me wants to shield her from it. She was so young when she was adopted - she doesn't remember her life in China. While the orphanages in Ethiopia are not the same, there are things about an orphanage that are always similar - and the desperate need of each child is certainly similar....Do I want her to see that? I'm conflicted.
I wish I never had to hear that word come out of her mouth. It's an easier word to say, when you are not staring an orphan in the face. Orphans are far away. You can't touch them - not from here anyway. You don't have to see their faces - not in real life anyway.... it's easier that way.
I know that my Anna is not an orphan. Neither is my Sara. But she WAS. They both were. And that is hard to swallow when you are their mom. When you forget that, even though they couldn't look less like you, you didn't give birth to them. And seriously, sometimes I forget. I don't look at my children and think "rescued orphan"... I look at my children and think - they are my children... and sometimes when reality sets in, when I'm reminded of their past - it hurts. Reality hurts. Not for me. Their past does not hurt me.... but I hurt for them... for what I know they will some day feel...for the questions they will someday have that I, unfortunately, won't be able to answer...And knowing that a hug won't fix it. All I can pray for them, is that God heals their broken hearts. That God miraculously fills that empty space for them....
I can't bring home every orphan. I wish I could - but I can't. So, what can I do? Will going back over there, and loving on some kids, playing with the older ones, taking them clothes, toothbrushes, toys... will any of it make a difference? Will they remember that someone cared - or will they just see me as another person that came and went... someone who brought them something, but who didn't rescue them.... once again left behind... forgotten.
Their eyes are so desperate. They LONG for attention. Some climb all over you and entertain you just so you will interact with them... others seem to have given up... they have seen enough people come and go that they have learned that all of their entertaining and smiles don't matter - I'm just going to leave anyway - and leave them there - where they are.....
I wish everyone could, just once, see the faces of these children, not on TV, but in real life - close enough to touch- see how little they live with, and see how little they complain. Their clothes don't match. Their shoes don't fit. They eat the same thing day after day. They don't get a bath. They don't get their teeth brushed. They share a bed. Nothing is their own. No mom. No dad. No bedtime story....
And yet they don't complain.
They smile.
I can only attribute it to God watching over them. God being in that place with them. Nothing else makes any sense.
Tonight, I'm praying for the orphan. Each and every one of them - wherever they might be. May God bring a family to them. Keep them safe until their family comes. They are all beautiful treasures - children of God.
In Christ,
Charity
I want my kids to understand that what they have, is not what most people have. I told her how the kids in the orphanage might not look that cute, or be too clean. Their clothes might not match and they might not smell the best.....but they are kids and they just want people to play with them.
Then it happened - my eight year old daughter said "kids in the orphanage are like that". I stopped listening at the word "orphanage". My stomach hurt and I instantly wanted to puke. Hearing that word come out of her mouth - I think for the very first time - nearly killed me. My eyes teared up instantly. She was there... she was one of them.
She wore mismatched clothes. She didn't smell good. Her hair - well... there wasn't much of it... they had given her a buzz cut. She was an orphan. It's strange how you forget that. It's strange how you can't imagine your child starting her life in that environment. You reject the thought. Every molecule of me knows that she did start there - but every molecule of me forgets it as well.
She is not an orphan....
She is my daughter.....
She was one piece of paper away from not being mine. She was one decision away from not having a family. I guess she could have gone to another family - except that God had her planned for mine. What if I had not gone? What if I had decided on another country? What if.....
I'm not sure why it hit me so hard today. I guess because she said that word. She shouldn't have to say that word "orphan". She shouldn't have to understand what it means. She should not have to think about the fact that she was there. She should not have to wonder - as I'm sure she someday will - what if.....?
What if my mom didn't come?
What if I was older and no one wanted me?
What if I was still there?
It's a part of adoption that you don't really think about in the beginning. In the beginning you think about the great need for children to have a family. You think about the child you will be adding to your home. You even think about your fears as to whether or not this child will fit into your family - then all your fears are removed when that child is placed into your arms.... but you don't think about 7 years down the road - when your daughter is eating ice cream in the kitchen and she says that word. You don't think about how it will make you feel - sick to your stomach. You can't even begin to imagine how she must feel - starting to understand what it all means.
I wanted to take my children with me to Ethiopia to get a better understanding of what they have here at home. I wanted them to appreciate more, become more compassionate for those who have less - much less....
But do I really want Anna to see the truth of what was? Part of me wants to shield her from it. She was so young when she was adopted - she doesn't remember her life in China. While the orphanages in Ethiopia are not the same, there are things about an orphanage that are always similar - and the desperate need of each child is certainly similar....Do I want her to see that? I'm conflicted.
I wish I never had to hear that word come out of her mouth. It's an easier word to say, when you are not staring an orphan in the face. Orphans are far away. You can't touch them - not from here anyway. You don't have to see their faces - not in real life anyway.... it's easier that way.
I know that my Anna is not an orphan. Neither is my Sara. But she WAS. They both were. And that is hard to swallow when you are their mom. When you forget that, even though they couldn't look less like you, you didn't give birth to them. And seriously, sometimes I forget. I don't look at my children and think "rescued orphan"... I look at my children and think - they are my children... and sometimes when reality sets in, when I'm reminded of their past - it hurts. Reality hurts. Not for me. Their past does not hurt me.... but I hurt for them... for what I know they will some day feel...for the questions they will someday have that I, unfortunately, won't be able to answer...And knowing that a hug won't fix it. All I can pray for them, is that God heals their broken hearts. That God miraculously fills that empty space for them....
I can't bring home every orphan. I wish I could - but I can't. So, what can I do? Will going back over there, and loving on some kids, playing with the older ones, taking them clothes, toothbrushes, toys... will any of it make a difference? Will they remember that someone cared - or will they just see me as another person that came and went... someone who brought them something, but who didn't rescue them.... once again left behind... forgotten.
Their eyes are so desperate. They LONG for attention. Some climb all over you and entertain you just so you will interact with them... others seem to have given up... they have seen enough people come and go that they have learned that all of their entertaining and smiles don't matter - I'm just going to leave anyway - and leave them there - where they are.....
I wish everyone could, just once, see the faces of these children, not on TV, but in real life - close enough to touch- see how little they live with, and see how little they complain. Their clothes don't match. Their shoes don't fit. They eat the same thing day after day. They don't get a bath. They don't get their teeth brushed. They share a bed. Nothing is their own. No mom. No dad. No bedtime story....
And yet they don't complain.
They smile.
I can only attribute it to God watching over them. God being in that place with them. Nothing else makes any sense.
Tonight, I'm praying for the orphan. Each and every one of them - wherever they might be. May God bring a family to them. Keep them safe until their family comes. They are all beautiful treasures - children of God.
In Christ,
Charity
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Jealousy and Pride
I'm working through my daily bible study with my friend... it's always good to do a bible study with a friend, because some days you will have good, thought provoking days and the other person won't, and vice versa. Well, my bible study partner carries the load most of the time, and I'm very thankful every day for her insight. I've been working harder at trying to get more out of my bible studies and sharing my thoughts with her though... because I think God has different things to share from His Word with both of us, and when we share it with each other, it's like double the blessing.
So, another friend of mine, (who I'm not doing the bible study with), felt compelled to get me a new bible. A NIV application bible. I'm a KJV person - I guess just because that's what I was reading when I became a Christian.... I've always though I should try something different, but never left the KJV because I almost felt like I was "betraying" something or someone by moving to another version. Well, I'm LOVING my NIV bible and the application part is really helpful in getting you to think deeper about what you have read. I still have my KJV and will probably always use it, side by side, with my NIV.
Anyway, my friend and I had gotten through the three "little Johns" and she asked me where I would like to go next... well, since it's that time of the year, I decided, we should stick with the new testament and cover the Christmas story. We decided on Luke. So, we are in Luke 1 right now. We break it up into small segments - share our thoughts each morning and continue this throughout the week.
The past couple of days we have been reading about Mary and Elizabeth... Elizabeth expecting a child after being barren for so many years, and beyond normal child bearing age. How the angel Gabriel came to her husband and told him she would bear a child. And Mary - unwed, virgin mother. Two unlikely candidates to be expecting....
Do you realize how much more you can get out of the Christmas story, than the magnificent story that it is in and of itself??? There is so much more to be told. Today, I learned about Jealousy and Pride.
Do you realize how much more you can get out of the Christmas story, than the magnificent story that it is in and of itself??? There is so much more to be told. Today, I learned about Jealousy and Pride.
Jealousy - Look at the situation from the standpoint of Elizabeth.... Elizabeth was expecting a child, and was further along than Mary. The Holy Spirit told Elizabeth that Mary would be carrying the Messiah, the Son of God... and not only that, but people would called her Blessed! Then, Mary saunters into Elizabeth's house (ok, Mary probably didn't "saunter", but I'm telling the story how I might have seen it from Elizabeth's perspective). Elizabeth's baby (which turns out to be a son), jumps for joy in her womb at the presence of Mary and the Son of God.... So, you are Elizabeth... FINALLY expecting a child - a son nonetheless, and in walks Mary. You are upstaged by Mary. Oh how wonderful Mary is with her "special" child... the Son of God.... Mary... how Blessed she is. If you were Elizabeth, you might think "What makes her kid so much more special than mine - I mean, mine's a miracle too, right?" "God sent an ANGEL down to tell my hubby about my baby". "And then along comes Mary - stealing my thunder". Elizabeth COULD have though that - but Elizabeth was much smarter!
Instead Elizabeth responded with Joy - rather than Jealousy at what God had done in Mary's life.. responded with elation about the baby that was to be the Messiah - the baby that IS the Messiah, the Son of God. She called Mary blessed - because Mary was blessed. The fact that Mary was blessed did not take away from the wonderful news of the upcoming birth of Elizabeth's child. Elizabeth was smart enough to know this. Elizabeth did not display jealousy at the circumstances in Mary's life - that may seemingly overshadow hers - she was simply happy for what God was doing in Mary's life. How God was using Mary for such a wonderful purpose. When I look upon the circumstances that God has purposed in my life, I need to respond more like an "Elizabeth". The plan for my life is the one God gave me for MY life... it's different than the plan He has for someone else's life and it's important for me to understand that, accept that, and yes, even celebrate that. I need to find Joy in what God is doing in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ - rather than being Jealous about what God is doing in their life.
Pride - Mary said "People will call me blessed". Was she being prideful? Was she taking the glory of what God was doing in her life and turning it onto herself? No. She was not being prideful - she was simply accepting what God was doing in her life. She was excited and sharing what God was doing, with others. When God works in your life, and blesses you though, it can easily turn to pride... Mary could have said "I must be special". "I must be so much better than you, because LOOK at how God is using me". "God must have HUGE plans for me". When God gives us a blessing, we can accept it, or turn it into something about ourselves, which then becomes pride.
I am at a place in my life right now, where God has blessed me. It's not because I'm special, or more worthy than others... it's simply because it's what God had planned for my life. My blessings come with heartache to me - as I'm sure Mary's did. Look at the HUGE blessing Mary had - but she could have turned it away because of all of the negative that came with it - the ridicule, the criticizing looks (for those who didn't believe she was carrying the Messiah, she was just a pregnant, unwed mother). I'm sure it was a hardship on her whole family... her husband-to-be included.
I've seen God work some things out for me as of late, that in my opinion are really only a God thing... God has taken care of things that I could not have taken care of on my own - and through the process, is working some things out in me. To better me, to make my walk with Him closer. It's not because I'm "special" that God has blessed me, it's because I'm HIS. My blessings do come with some heartache - but when I stop and think about it, I would have had the heartache with or without the blessings. Some things we just have to work our way through.... but I am VERY thankful that I'm able to work through those things with the blessings God has provided during this time of my life. I think with accepting the blessings God has provided, there comes a responsibility. A responsibility to be thankful to the one who provided them for me - remembering to give thanks. Also, to share those blessings with others.... maybe not the exact blessings that God has provided, but share the story with others and to somehow make a difference in the lives of others, maybe as a result of the blessings I've been given.
I guess it's appropriate that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I have so very much to be thankful for. Maybe I will share that in tomorrow's post though....
On another note - the Christmas decorations made their debut yesterday... have to finish that up today and get the house in order for family coming over tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Then Friday a friend and I have decided to venture out for some Black Friday shopping!!! I'm actually looking forward to it. Normally I would stay away from the stores at this time, but I have nothing particular that I HAVE to get, and neither really does she. We just get some nice time together and if it gets too crowded - we'll leave and go get a cup of coffee or lunch together! I'm just happy to be spending time with a great friend....and maybe find some bargains along the way :)
In Christ,
Charity
Instead Elizabeth responded with Joy - rather than Jealousy at what God had done in Mary's life.. responded with elation about the baby that was to be the Messiah - the baby that IS the Messiah, the Son of God. She called Mary blessed - because Mary was blessed. The fact that Mary was blessed did not take away from the wonderful news of the upcoming birth of Elizabeth's child. Elizabeth was smart enough to know this. Elizabeth did not display jealousy at the circumstances in Mary's life - that may seemingly overshadow hers - she was simply happy for what God was doing in Mary's life. How God was using Mary for such a wonderful purpose. When I look upon the circumstances that God has purposed in my life, I need to respond more like an "Elizabeth". The plan for my life is the one God gave me for MY life... it's different than the plan He has for someone else's life and it's important for me to understand that, accept that, and yes, even celebrate that. I need to find Joy in what God is doing in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ - rather than being Jealous about what God is doing in their life.
Pride - Mary said "People will call me blessed". Was she being prideful? Was she taking the glory of what God was doing in her life and turning it onto herself? No. She was not being prideful - she was simply accepting what God was doing in her life. She was excited and sharing what God was doing, with others. When God works in your life, and blesses you though, it can easily turn to pride... Mary could have said "I must be special". "I must be so much better than you, because LOOK at how God is using me". "God must have HUGE plans for me". When God gives us a blessing, we can accept it, or turn it into something about ourselves, which then becomes pride.
I am at a place in my life right now, where God has blessed me. It's not because I'm special, or more worthy than others... it's simply because it's what God had planned for my life. My blessings come with heartache to me - as I'm sure Mary's did. Look at the HUGE blessing Mary had - but she could have turned it away because of all of the negative that came with it - the ridicule, the criticizing looks (for those who didn't believe she was carrying the Messiah, she was just a pregnant, unwed mother). I'm sure it was a hardship on her whole family... her husband-to-be included.
I've seen God work some things out for me as of late, that in my opinion are really only a God thing... God has taken care of things that I could not have taken care of on my own - and through the process, is working some things out in me. To better me, to make my walk with Him closer. It's not because I'm "special" that God has blessed me, it's because I'm HIS. My blessings do come with some heartache - but when I stop and think about it, I would have had the heartache with or without the blessings. Some things we just have to work our way through.... but I am VERY thankful that I'm able to work through those things with the blessings God has provided during this time of my life. I think with accepting the blessings God has provided, there comes a responsibility. A responsibility to be thankful to the one who provided them for me - remembering to give thanks. Also, to share those blessings with others.... maybe not the exact blessings that God has provided, but share the story with others and to somehow make a difference in the lives of others, maybe as a result of the blessings I've been given.
I guess it's appropriate that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I have so very much to be thankful for. Maybe I will share that in tomorrow's post though....
On another note - the Christmas decorations made their debut yesterday... have to finish that up today and get the house in order for family coming over tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Then Friday a friend and I have decided to venture out for some Black Friday shopping!!! I'm actually looking forward to it. Normally I would stay away from the stores at this time, but I have nothing particular that I HAVE to get, and neither really does she. We just get some nice time together and if it gets too crowded - we'll leave and go get a cup of coffee or lunch together! I'm just happy to be spending time with a great friend....and maybe find some bargains along the way :)
In Christ,
Charity
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Hospitality
Hospitality....it's something that we really don't think much about anymore. I mean, what really is hospitality? I have my family over to my home and I really enjoy having them over. I prepare the house, make a special dinner, make sure the kids' rooms are clean, bathrooms freshly cleaned, floors cleaned and things like that.... but that really has nothing to do with hospitality.
I do a "virtual" bible study with a friend of mine. We read the same verses, and then share via e-mail our thoughts on the verses that we have read. Today was 3 John - all of it. It's not that long...
So, as I was reading today, one of the things I got out of the reading was "hospitality".... it's something we all need to be aware of. Hospitality isn't planned. It's not the Thanksgiving dinner that you host at your home - although that is a form of hospitality, it's more "hosting"... hospitality is different.... it's spontaneous and unexpected. It's opening the doors to your home when your floors are not polished, your bathrooms are not perfectly cleaned, the toys are not picked up and the kids' beds aren't made. There may be dishes in the sink and the garbage maybe needs to be taken out..... but you open your door anyway. You don't have a dinner bought and made, ready to serve your guests... instead you look in the fridge, see what you can offer them to drink, if anything. Then you pull things together out of the cupboards / freezer and offer something that resembles a dinner. You don't use your fancy china, because it's not dusted off. You don't have the nice silverware or serving dishes because those are stored away... instead you offer the everyday existence of your home.
The thing about hospitality is it's WELCOMING these impromptu visits and making the person feel like they are genuinely welcome in your home at ANY time - planned or unplanned - and that they are not an inconvenience. It's not about stressing over their presence, worry about not putting on a good show... hospitality is not about a "show". Hospitality is about a warm welcome. It's about making someone feel like they are not an inconvenience. It's about opening the door without having a formal invitation. It's more about the other person than it is about you and your home.
So what if the floors are not at their best? So there are a few crumbs on the table or the floor, and there's a basket of laundry on the couch.... Hospitality is the relationship that is established between you and the person who stopped by unexpectedly. Hospitality is BEING READY for the unexpected, by not fretting over when the unexpected shows up at your door step! Hospitality CAN mean a planned event, but without welcoming the spontaneous, impromptu visitor, the planned event is just that - a planned event.
I'm not a spontaneous person... but I've somehow surrounded myself with friends who are VERY spontaneous. Maybe it's a God-thing... in fact, I'm SURE it's a God thing... God challenging me to live outside of my comfort zone, to welcome the unplanned, let go of my habitual planning, throw caution to the wind, and just ENJOY my friends. God doesn't care if I'm "always prepared"... He wants me to be prepared for what He needs me to do.... and what He needs me to do, may just be to move the laundry basket to the bedroom, push the toys onto the floor, and offer my impromptu visitor a place on the couch for a chat and a warm welcome.
So, if you read 3 John and DON'T get that out of the verses... that's fine. God has something special to tell all of us. Today, that is what He had to tell me... maybe because it's something I've been struggling with. I've read it many times and get different things out of it every time. I've always felt that I was an hospitable person.... I learned today that it was always more about me though... did I present myself, my house and my family well, did I offer the right food and drink, was it good enough? Today I learned that the real hospitable person, moves the junk and makes people feel welcome, even if it's not the most convenient time. I'm going to make a real effort to sharpen my "hospitality skills".
My friends don't care about my house, my appearance, what I have or what I can offer - my friends care about me. God cares about the relationship I establish with my friends and family and that I offer them what He has blessed me with.
Loved my bible study today!
In Christ,
Charity
I do a "virtual" bible study with a friend of mine. We read the same verses, and then share via e-mail our thoughts on the verses that we have read. Today was 3 John - all of it. It's not that long...
So, as I was reading today, one of the things I got out of the reading was "hospitality".... it's something we all need to be aware of. Hospitality isn't planned. It's not the Thanksgiving dinner that you host at your home - although that is a form of hospitality, it's more "hosting"... hospitality is different.... it's spontaneous and unexpected. It's opening the doors to your home when your floors are not polished, your bathrooms are not perfectly cleaned, the toys are not picked up and the kids' beds aren't made. There may be dishes in the sink and the garbage maybe needs to be taken out..... but you open your door anyway. You don't have a dinner bought and made, ready to serve your guests... instead you look in the fridge, see what you can offer them to drink, if anything. Then you pull things together out of the cupboards / freezer and offer something that resembles a dinner. You don't use your fancy china, because it's not dusted off. You don't have the nice silverware or serving dishes because those are stored away... instead you offer the everyday existence of your home.
The thing about hospitality is it's WELCOMING these impromptu visits and making the person feel like they are genuinely welcome in your home at ANY time - planned or unplanned - and that they are not an inconvenience. It's not about stressing over their presence, worry about not putting on a good show... hospitality is not about a "show". Hospitality is about a warm welcome. It's about making someone feel like they are not an inconvenience. It's about opening the door without having a formal invitation. It's more about the other person than it is about you and your home.
So what if the floors are not at their best? So there are a few crumbs on the table or the floor, and there's a basket of laundry on the couch.... Hospitality is the relationship that is established between you and the person who stopped by unexpectedly. Hospitality is BEING READY for the unexpected, by not fretting over when the unexpected shows up at your door step! Hospitality CAN mean a planned event, but without welcoming the spontaneous, impromptu visitor, the planned event is just that - a planned event.
I'm not a spontaneous person... but I've somehow surrounded myself with friends who are VERY spontaneous. Maybe it's a God-thing... in fact, I'm SURE it's a God thing... God challenging me to live outside of my comfort zone, to welcome the unplanned, let go of my habitual planning, throw caution to the wind, and just ENJOY my friends. God doesn't care if I'm "always prepared"... He wants me to be prepared for what He needs me to do.... and what He needs me to do, may just be to move the laundry basket to the bedroom, push the toys onto the floor, and offer my impromptu visitor a place on the couch for a chat and a warm welcome.
So, if you read 3 John and DON'T get that out of the verses... that's fine. God has something special to tell all of us. Today, that is what He had to tell me... maybe because it's something I've been struggling with. I've read it many times and get different things out of it every time. I've always felt that I was an hospitable person.... I learned today that it was always more about me though... did I present myself, my house and my family well, did I offer the right food and drink, was it good enough? Today I learned that the real hospitable person, moves the junk and makes people feel welcome, even if it's not the most convenient time. I'm going to make a real effort to sharpen my "hospitality skills".
My friends don't care about my house, my appearance, what I have or what I can offer - my friends care about me. God cares about the relationship I establish with my friends and family and that I offer them what He has blessed me with.
Loved my bible study today!
In Christ,
Charity
Friday, November 4, 2011
Some Good News...
Had to share some good news that I received today... I was sharing a wonderful day with a friend today. We were eating donuts, drinking coffee (we were SUPPOSED to walk 7.5 miles before all of this, but it was COLD and RAINING - darn), making baklava, drinking diet cokes (needed after donuts and lattes :) and just having some plain old fun "girl time". As we were in the middle of one of our bazillion layers of Philyo dough (yes, there were actually that many layers... I counted them all) the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number and almost didn't pick it up - then I recognized the area code - it was from Michigan, so I grabbed it. It was the Leader Dog school.
They called to inform me that I am scheduled for a class, and it is February 4th. I will train from the 4th through the 17th. I thought - well, it's about the same time that I went when I went to get Pearl, so I should expect cold.... BUT... then she said these words
IN WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA!
Seriously? I didn't understand. The school is in Rochester, Michigan. Well, last year they started a program for students coming from "warm weather" states. They bring the school to a warm weather state and train us there. How cool is that? It's also an accelerated program. I'll get there on a Saturday and receive my dog that same day! That's so exciting. Typically you work with the staff for awhile before getting the dog, and there's always a bit of anxiety / excitement waiting the three days until you get your dog.
They bring the program to a hotel in West Palm Beach and the training takes place around the West Palm Beach area. We may have opportunities to go out and do some training on the beach and things like that. They also do some promotional work while we are there that we will be able to attend. So, that will be nice - to have an opportunity to get out to some functions with the dogs and help support Leader Dogs for the Blind. It is such a wonderful organization! I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to take part in this new program too! This way, I only have to be away from my family for 13 days! Much easier than the month I was up in Michigan last time. I'd do what I needed to do, but it's hard to be gone that long with small children.
So - the date is set and we'll just see how it all unfolds with the dog. My heart ACHES that I don't have my Pearl, and in the back of my mind I wonder what dog will live up to the standard that Pearl has set in my head. BUT, I do have to realize that Pearl had her faults too - and every dog will be different. Remember Pearl, who would not go to the bathroom if there was dew on the grass because she hated water - for goodness sake, she was a RETRIEVER! She was stubborn as a MULE - but she was MY dog and she worked with me beautifully!
I NEED this! I'm so thrilled at the thought of having some of my independence back! Some of my security! I have to take this new dog for what it is, and learn to love it for what IT can do for me. My guess is that this one will like the water! It will have issues as well - kinda like people, we are all different - and it will NEVER replace what Pearl was to me, but I have confidence that the school will give me a dog that will definitely benefit me and be a positive addition to my life!
Looking forward to my time in West Palm Beach, Florida. Thank you to Leader Dog for this opportunity! Never expected that news when I picked up the phone today....
In Christ,
Charity
They called to inform me that I am scheduled for a class, and it is February 4th. I will train from the 4th through the 17th. I thought - well, it's about the same time that I went when I went to get Pearl, so I should expect cold.... BUT... then she said these words
IN WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA!
Seriously? I didn't understand. The school is in Rochester, Michigan. Well, last year they started a program for students coming from "warm weather" states. They bring the school to a warm weather state and train us there. How cool is that? It's also an accelerated program. I'll get there on a Saturday and receive my dog that same day! That's so exciting. Typically you work with the staff for awhile before getting the dog, and there's always a bit of anxiety / excitement waiting the three days until you get your dog.
They bring the program to a hotel in West Palm Beach and the training takes place around the West Palm Beach area. We may have opportunities to go out and do some training on the beach and things like that. They also do some promotional work while we are there that we will be able to attend. So, that will be nice - to have an opportunity to get out to some functions with the dogs and help support Leader Dogs for the Blind. It is such a wonderful organization! I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to take part in this new program too! This way, I only have to be away from my family for 13 days! Much easier than the month I was up in Michigan last time. I'd do what I needed to do, but it's hard to be gone that long with small children.
So - the date is set and we'll just see how it all unfolds with the dog. My heart ACHES that I don't have my Pearl, and in the back of my mind I wonder what dog will live up to the standard that Pearl has set in my head. BUT, I do have to realize that Pearl had her faults too - and every dog will be different. Remember Pearl, who would not go to the bathroom if there was dew on the grass because she hated water - for goodness sake, she was a RETRIEVER! She was stubborn as a MULE - but she was MY dog and she worked with me beautifully!
I NEED this! I'm so thrilled at the thought of having some of my independence back! Some of my security! I have to take this new dog for what it is, and learn to love it for what IT can do for me. My guess is that this one will like the water! It will have issues as well - kinda like people, we are all different - and it will NEVER replace what Pearl was to me, but I have confidence that the school will give me a dog that will definitely benefit me and be a positive addition to my life!
Looking forward to my time in West Palm Beach, Florida. Thank you to Leader Dog for this opportunity! Never expected that news when I picked up the phone today....
In Christ,
Charity
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