When it rains....I grow

When it rains..... what happens when it rains?  We all know.  When it rains, it pours.  When it rains, you get wet.  When it rains you feel cold.  When it rains, things grow.  Hhmmmm - when it rains, I grow.  Then it must be growing pains.....  Because it's raining and it hurts.  I do have to qualify my hurt though.  I know that some people have so much more to deal with in their life than I do.  I would not trade them places to save my life - but I can still grumble a bit, can't I?

I wrote a few posts ago about all that is happening in our life / home financially since we started moving again with regard to the adoption.  Well, add another bill to the long list.  Thursday night we got home from work and I had Anna upstairs in her bathroom taking a shower.  Laundry was going.  I was on the phone with Anna's teacher.  Tim came into the office where I was sitting.... he didn't look happy.  He keeps sighing like I have been on the phone WAY too long.  I give him a look like "It's Anna's teacher, what am I supposed to do???"  When I got off the phone, I found out why he looked like that.... While Anna was showering and the laundry was ... being laundered... the tub and shower in the master bath were filling up.  And even when the water was off and the laundry stopped - they were not draining.  SERIOUSLY????  Come on!!!  We haven't even finished dealing with the floor problem in the kitchen yet!  So, Tim ran out to get some Draino.  It would've had to have been some pretty strong Draino.... and unfortunately it was not strong enough.  With two kids and not being able to flush a toilet, we had an issue.  We waited awhile to see if the Drano would work and then we headed off to a hotel for the evening.  Fun stuff!

Friday Tim and I were home dealing with that.  The first guy that showed up - USELESS and might as well have been a bank robber for what he wanted to charge us to do nothing.  Tim then called someone else, and a very respectable guy came out, explained the problem and discussed our options.  We ended up getting running water, but it cost us a bit!

I wonder when it will all end?  When will Satan see that we are going through with the adoption no matter what he throws at us.  Short of one of us dying, we are going (I probably shouldn't have even said that).  When will he get the clue?  Our DAUGHTER is there, and no one will keep us from getting our daughter!  Not even all of the financial intervention of Satan!

And now for the growing part.  I think all of the problems were have encountered with the house lately have allowed me to grow.  I've learned to step back and say "it's ok".  No, we don't have our kitchen floors replaced yet, but what difference does it make?  I still have a house to live in and my family is healthy!  Normally things like this would freak me out.  I would obsess over getting the floors completed.  I would have CRACKED at the plumbing falling apart after our floor issue.  I would have put the for sale sign in the yard and started finding my new home.  One without all of these issues.  Well, I'm not moving and there is no sign in the front yard.  Now that we have had to deal with the plumbing issue, it may take us a bit longer to get the floors, but that is ok.  At least Tim and I both have jobs that allow us to make good money and for the most part fund these projects without credit.  It may take us longer, but we eventually get it done.  I've learned to let go a bit.  if you know me at all, you know just how difficult that is for me.  It is time though to look Satan in the eye and say "nice try".  There is no detour for us.  God is our GPS and this is where He is taking us through to get to our daughter.

I mentioned before that another one of our financial slams has been my upcoming eye surgery.  The surgery itself will cost us a bundle, but then also I have had to get both new glasses AND new contacts.  Well, that time has come...On Friday I will have my second eye surgery.  Please pray for me that it goes smoothly.  I'm a bit nervous about it.  I probably won't be able to see for awhile, as they are working on my right eye, and that is where most of my vision is.  And to make matters worse, Tim is going out of town.  He should be home for the surgery..... or should I say he WILL be home for the surgery.  He was orignially supposed to leave Monday and come back Wednesday afternoon.  It has been changed to leaving on Tuesday and coming back Thursday afternoon.  The only question mark in the whole deal is that he is going to Baltimore.  My guess is there is snow there.  He has promised me that if there is more than a 20% chance of snow on Thursday, that he will not go.  I know he needs to go, and I also know I can call on my family and friends if I need to, to help me out if he misses the surgery.  But, I would really like my husband there for this.  There are very few thinggs in life that I'm really uncomfortable and nervous about.... however, one of them is eye surgery.  I'm also not real comfortable expressing my nervousness in front of anyone - really not even Tim, but I can with him.  Last time I couldn't sleep for days before the surgery.  I just kept thinking of all that could happen.  I kept wondering what I would experience, what I would feel.  It all ended up being fine last time, but this time... it's my right eye.  That ups the ante a bit.  I'll need Tim there.  So, please pray for me and pray that Tim makes it home in time to be with me for the surgery.

Finally, and I know this is a long post - but for all of you that have been praying for Cameron with regard to the situation with is dad, THANK YOU.  He is managing fairly well.  Cameron is sad about the whole situation, but he understands.  He is handling it well.  It was heartwrenching for me to have to tell him, but it had to be done.  I'm not sure when he will have the opportunity to see his dad again so please continue to keep Cameron in your prayers.

In Christ,
Charity

Biker Chick (and dude aka Cameron)

Today has been a very productive day.  It was a bit chilly here today, so I spent most of the day in the house doing some "spring" cleaning.  I cleaned out closets and gave outgrown coats to House of Hope, we cleaned out the garage and Tim worked in the yard.  We have one area of the back yard that I think was sectioned off for a compost pile.  We never used it.  When we opened the gates and looked inside, it was very overgrown with weeds and stuff... so today, while it was cold, Tim attacked it.  You have to be careful doing stuff like that in warm weather here, because of the poisonous snakes that we have here.  So, Tim got that mostly done today.  The kids were very helpful and played outside, riding bikes.  They cleaned out the truck and basically kept out of trouble today. 

Before all that started this morning though, Tim and I ran out with the kids to do a bit of shopping.  I am having eye surgery in two weeks, and once the surgery is done, I won't be able to wear contacts for awhile.  Also, my glasses will no longer be the appropriate prescription.  So, while I could still see, we decided to go and pick out glasses for me.  That way, once the surgery was done, and I got a new prescription, I would just be able to go and give them the Rx and already have the frames picked out.  I'm really glad I thought to do it in advance, because I would not be able to see a thing if I waited until after the surgery to pick them out.

The kids wanted to run to Target so we did that.  We ran and got Pearl her dog food and we were home for the day. 

While I was in the house cleaning, Cameron and Anna were practicing getting Anna to ride her bike.  She is AWESOME at it now.  Tim and I took all of our stuff to the dump and when we got home, I decided to get some pictures of the kids riding around outside.  Anna decided to go down the subdivision on her bike, and I was able to get a good picture of her riding.  Here are some pictures from today:

Cameron hates this picture, but I like it... and since it's my blog, my pictures and my camera, I get to decided what goes on it.  I win!!!

Here is Cameron rip-sticking and Anna riding the power wing.  Only in the south could you ride stuff like this just one week after Christmas!

Cameron told me to tell everyone he was performing a very complex and difficult "manual" (whatever that is) when he took this graceful spill!  (note the rip stick off to the right bottom of the picture :)

Anna riding her bike down the streets of the subdivision.  I'm so proud of her.  She actually is really good now and can go super far.  By summer she will be ALL OVER the bike trail behind our house!

And finally, a picture of the fam (minus me). 

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So, that was our day today.  Tomorrow it's church and then getting everyone ready to go back to school.  Actually, it will probably be harder to get me ready to go back to work!

Thankful for a wonderful day with my family (Cameron asked me who says "fam" - apparently I do, but I'm the only one in the world left who says it).

In Christ,
Charity

"Welcome" to 2010

Last night, we welcomed 2010 with friends.  Ok, we really didn't hang out until 12:00 when the ball dropped and 2010 was officially here, but does that really matter?  I don't think so.  It was a time for good friends to get together and have a great time.  I know personally, I'm looking forward to what 2010 has to offer. 

Today I feel at a loss for words, so I'm just going to share some of my favorite pictures from the evening:

Pearl: - isn't she just precious?

Cameron - Entertaining the group

Cameron

This one is for my brother-in-law:  a plate full of creme puffs... if only he could have been here

Anna Clare

Cameron and Hamilton

Anna in her shades - what a super star!

Sorry I don't have much else to share today.  I have been busy taking down Christmas decorations.  The house is now nearly back in order, and I just thought I would take a minute to share these pictures.

Here's to a wonderful 2010 for all of our friends and family!

In Christ,
Charity

Spiritual Warfare

I am part of many adoption on-line groups.  I join them in the beginning to get a feel for what is going on in-ocuntry.  I stay to learn about agencies - which ones are reputable, and which ones are not.  That does not take very long.  The unethical ones have information posted about them constantly.  I linger to read people's stories.  Oh how I love to hear about each process from beginning to end.  One group I joined is called CAFEKids.  It is a Christian group for people adopting from Ethiopia.  I don't thnk you HAVE to be a Christian to join the group, but the point of the group is:  Talking about God is not only ALLOWED, but it is encouraged.  You don't have to put a disclaimer on your topic saying "mentions God", none of that.  You just get to freely express your journey - including God!

Recently one of the topics has been about the spiritual battle that rages once you commit to adoption.  After reading all of the stories, I would really like to share ours.  I truly believe that Satan takes offense with those who adopt, especially those who adopt in the name of God.  Or maybe just those who adopt who are Christians.  An orphan being brought into a Christian home to hear the truth of the gospel is a whole less likely to follow Satan than the orphan who does not get fed the truth.  It's also about obedience - God calls us to care for the orphan and the widow.  Those who adopt are carrying out God's desire.  Satan surely doesn't like that.

I truly believe the attack comes in many forms, and it is different for every family.  I am a saver.  I am very cautious with money.  Our monthly deposit into our savings account is viewed as a "bill" to me.  Our family is very financially responsible.  I wouldn't say I'm "cheap" or else we would not be on this adoption journey, but I am reasonable.  I'm not extravagant.  One of my biggest concerns is with money... not because we don't have enough, but because I want to make sure we spend wisely.  Satan knows this.  Satan also knows that we tithe every month... and if he can make life difficult enough for us, maybe we would skip our tithe in order to meet my need to save.

We made a commitment to adopt a LONG time ago.  We started the process nearly 2 1/2 years ago with an adoption from Vietnam.  We spent nearly $12,000 on that adoption (that never happened) and the country closed.  We did get some of our money back, but it was a pittance compared to what we spent.  Our agency was unethical and although our documents were filed in-country, there was NO WAY we could get a child because the agency was not licensed in the provence they sent our documents to.  We waited nearly a year in country before we discovered that.  Satan likely laughed.  God knew though.  After that, we decided to switch agencies and adopt from Kyrgyzstan.  We had to do an update to our home study, new immigration approval, and a TON of money on new dossier documents.  Right before were to submit to the country embassy, there was a slow down in country.  I was so afraid that the same thing would happen in Kyrgyzstan as did in Vietnam (with the country closing) that I waited.  Thank goodness we did, because our next step would have cost us around $8,000 and we would have lost ALL of that money and had no child..... Kyrgyzstan closed.

At that point in time, Tim and I decided to stop, take a step back and not decided what WE wanted to do, but decide what GOD wanted us to do.  God pointed us to Ethiopia.  We were also led to look at another agency.  One closer to our home state and who were a Christian agency.  Not one that said "sure, we are Christian", but one that even had CHRISTIAN in their name.  Not that a name says it all, but someone who is not a Christian, usually doesn't want to be called one, and it also limits the agencies audience - so we were comfortable with the agency and our case worker.

We started the process to adopt from Ethiopia in July.  Our dossier is now in country (whoo-hoo!!!).  It was completed in near record speed (God's hand).  Our immigration approval was completed in 2 business days (God's hand - this normally takes 6 - 8 weeks if not longer).  Our home study was able to be done in just weeks (God's hand).  I truly believe that if you go where God leads, you will feel the doors open, instead of trying to shove them open for yourself.

So, since we are where God wants us to be, Satan has no power - not in the adoption process.... but he knows my desire to live reasonably.  Since he can not attack the adoption process because God is working there - he has begun to attack us financially.  (I guess he forgot that part where God provides).  The first hit was with an issue under the house - CHING $6000.00 for a vapor barrier and dehumidification system (I swear you could like live under our house now it is so nice under there... but I digress :).  Next - six months after being told I have no issue with my right eye needing surgery, I start having vision problems.  I can always tell when I'm starting to have issues, because I get really bad headaches.  I called the doctor and made an appointment... sure enough, I need eye surgery - and due to some work commitments, I wasn't able to schedule it until after the first of the year (when I have to meet our deductable again) rather than this year (when it is already met) - CHING $$$ BIG BUCKS!!!  Finally, about a month ago, I was walking through the kitchen and the floor in front of the fridge felt strange.  I brought it up to Tim, but with the holidays and so much going on , we diidn't get around to calling someone about it.  We called about a week ago and yesterday a floor person came out.  They measured the moisture on one part of the floor 6% - very dry.  In front of the fridge - >60%.  The meter only went up to 60 and it hit that immediately.  The floor guy said we had a slow leak from the fridge and that it has damaged the floor.  So, we had to call a plumber.  The plumber came out and found the source of the problem.  The result.... we have to replace the kitchen floor.  CHING, CHING, CHING.  I guess the good news in all of it is that I never liked our kitchen floor and now we get a new one :)  Thankfully because of our wise spending / saving, we have been able to cover these expenses without the aid of credit!

In all of the talk recently about the spirtual battle that rages when you start an adoption, I really began to think.  It all started to make sense to me.  Maybe the devil doesn't realize though, that I trust in God to fund our adoption.  If we are reasonable with our money and tithe, He will provide.  He has and will continue to.  Rage on Mr. Satan - I've got God on my side!

In Christ (take that Satan),
Charity

If you would be so inclined

Dear Friends,

I know over time I have asked for prayer, prayer for this, prayer for that, prayer for the adoption, prayer when I had to leave my family for a month to get Pearl....I'm sure I've asked.  Well, I'm asking again.  It's not for me... well, not really.  It's for Cameron - which I guess indirectly ends up being for me as well.  Anyway, I'm asking for him.

I don't share a whole lot about his life, outside of what happens directly within our family.  I guess this qualifies and if not, I'm going to share it anyway.  Last night I got a phone call that I knew for a couple of months was coming.  I was hoping that it wouldn't come, but it did.  It was from Cameron's dad.  Again, I don't share much about Cameron's life with his dad, or much about his dad at all.... I guess being divorced, it's really not my business to share - but again, I'll share this.  Cameron's dad lives in SC about 2 1/2 hours from us.  He moved here from Michigan about 4 years ago.  It was a good move because Cameron got to see his dad regularly.  Well, about three months ago, Cameron's dad lost his job.  As with everywhere else, the unemployment rate in SC is high.  He has been unable up to this point to find another job.  Tomorrow, he's leaving SC.  I won't go into the details about where he is going, because that's not mine to share, but the impact on Cameron will be great.  He's moving to another state and Cameron won't get to see him like he does now.  Right now he sees him about every three weeks.  It'll probably be three times a year if  he is lucky. 

Cameron is not the type of kid who is going to tell you when he is hurting - and he is definitely not going to tell his dad that it hurts him.  I know his dad is upset for having to leave.  No matter what I think of him, he loves Cameron - and more importantly, Cameron loves him.  That is exactly why Cameron won't tell him that it is bothering him.  I know my son though, and it will bother him.  It bothered me to not be near my family when I was an adult... why woldn't it bother a child?

Here's the kicker though... Cameron doesn't know about this yet.  I got the call last night.  I thought he was not leaving until next week... instead, he is leaving tomorrow.  Tim and I were planning on taking him to see his dad again on Jan 1st.  I was hoping his dad would tell him then and they would at least get to say good-bye (for now) in person.  His dad saw him last week.... and for reasons I don't quite understand, he didn't tell him - and now, he's leaving before he will see him again.  I don't want Cameron to hear something like that over the phone, plus his dad is fairly emotional about the whole thing right now, so that wouldn't help matter either.  I almost don't blame his dad, because I would not want to tell my child that either - but sometimes as a parent, you have to do things that you don't want to do, for the benefit of your child - for their well-being.  That being said, since it is apparent that his dad is not telling him, that task will fall on me.  His dad said he would call and tell him when he got settlted in... well, in my mind, that's not good enough.  How do I explain that he is not going to see his dad on the 1st?  I will have to tell him.

Please pray for comfort for Cameron.  I know he is worried about his dad.  Besides losing his job, he is having some health issues (probably anxiety related as a result of losing his job) and I'm sure that is bothering Cameron as well.  Last week when Cameron was with his dad, his dad had to go to the emergency room because of these issues.  I'm sure Cameron is struggling with all of this, and me telling him his dad won't be here anymore will just make it worse.

Please pray for Cameron - and pray for me that I find the right words when I tell him what's going on.  It breaks my heart to have to do that.  Please also pray that I find a way to say the right words that encourage Cameron to talk to me about how he feels about the whole thing.  I know it will hurt him, but it's unlikely that he will share that.

Thanks for listening and thanks for your prayers for my Cameron.

In Christ,
Charity

After Christmas shopping

This morning Tim and I ventured out to the stores to do some after Christmas shopping.  It has kind of become a tradition for us.  Every year after Christmas, we go out and buy Christmas stuff for the following year.  Usually we hit the jackpot and get stuff at somewhere around 75% off.  This year, we weren't so lucky.  Maybe we waited longer last year - maybe it was closer to New Years by the time we made it out shopping.  All I know is last year we got small trees for each of the kids' rooms for 70% off.  A bunch of ornaments for each tree, some little decorative things, and of-course candles... I think all for 70% off.  I thought for sure, after the weekend rush, that things would be 70% off by now.  Nope... everywhere we went, it was 50%.  Some places didn't even have anything.  But, we still got some good deals.  I got a cookie tray that is absolutely beautiful.  The best part about it, is it isn't really Christmas themed.  I can use it year round.  It's something you could use for cookies / candies or something like that.  I love it. 

We bought another tree last year, so we have one upstairs that you can see through the huge front window, and then we have one for downstairs on the main floor that we put the gifts under.  So, this year we just had the tree upstairs with lights on it, but no ornaments.  I was going to buy ornaments for it before the holidays, but thought "why spend the money now, when I can get at least twice as much for the same price in two weeks".  So, I waited.  The tree will be full of ornaments next year.  I just bought colored balls.  All silver and then threw in a box of red to add some color.  It'll look nice next year.  I was looking for some lighted garland, but didn't find any.  Oh well....

My blog friend Lori asked about my camera.... no Lori, you didn't miss it... I never said which one I got.  I got the Canon Rebel xsi.  It's really nice.  Tim got it from godigital.com and it came with a huge accessory package.  If we bought it in the stores around here, we would've only gotten the camera and one lens.  For the same price we got:

the camera
three lenses
three filters
two tri-pods
a carrying case
two 8 GB memory cards
a USB card reader
an external removable flash

and probably some other stuff that I don't even know about yet.  As I'm learning how to use it, I absolutely LOVE IT!!!  If I had to rate it, I would give it 5 out of 5 stars.  Sure, it took me some time to learn how to use it, but I'm a novice.  I'm used to a camera where you just open the box, slap in a couple of batteries and you are good to go.  This is definitely not that kind of camera.  I kind of wanted it to be when I opened the package (only because I wanted to use it right away) but as I am learning how to work this, I'm LOVING it!  It definitely wasn't the cheapest camera in the world, but it surely wasn't the most expensive one either.  But it takes great pictures.  Probably they will be even better when I figure out what I am doing!  I guess the best part was that it really was a good package deal.  I highly recommend getting one off of the internet rather than in a local store.  It was brand new, in the original intact packaging, and delivered to my door within probably 5 days of Tim  ordering it.  And I love it.  I seriously can not wait to take it with us to Ethiopia..... I can just imagine the beautiful pictures I will get there.  Not just of my Sara Joy either!!!  I can't believe that this may actually be the year that Sara Joy comes home!!!

And to my dear blog friend Lori - I know you may not want to hear this right now, but I have to say it, because it is the truth - you are an incredibly strong person.  Your family has touched my heart.  Your strength and trust in God during this very difficult time in your life is amazing.  Your Matthew.... just precious.  My first born is my son, and I can't imagine him not being here with me.  I imagine you could never imagine it either... and yet you have to not only imagine it, but live it.  My heart breaks for you when I think about that.  No mother (no father) should ever have to endure such heartbreak.  I'm sure it's pain that I can not imagine.  I hope you don't mind that I linked to your web page - your story, how it unfolded and how it continues to unfold, is inspiring.  How you respond in the face of such pain is incredible.  It should be shared. 

Well, now that the after Christmas shopping is done, I pobably need to start thinking about just when is going to be the perfect time to bring down all of the current holiday cheer... uuggghhh - I really dislike that task.

In Christ,
Charity

Comments

It was pointed out to me by a close friend that she no longer has the ability to comment on my posts.  Does anyone have any idea why?

If you know how to get the comment link back, please let me know.  You can e-mail me at:

t_croach@sc.rr.com

Any help would be appreciated.

*****Nevermind... apparently now the option is back.  Not sure how it disappeared, or how it came back, but it is back*****

In Christ,
Charity