Waiting for My Mission

There's a lot I can't get past today.  I'm writing this with a pit in my stomach.  God has placed a HUGE burden on my heart, and I'm not sure what to do with it.  The cause of the orphan is always simmering in my heart.  I can't let it go.  I thought I'd get to a place one day where I'd say our house and hearts are full enough - there is only so much room in a house, we are only so young, there is only so much money in the bank account - and all those things are true, so what am I supposed to do with all of these feelings that are left over as we come to the end of our final adoption?  I was watching the Audio Adrenaline video "Kings and Queens" and looking at the faces of the children, I can see the face of my children in them.  It literally pains me!  What can I do, how can I help?  What will make my God happy?  What can I do so when I get to heaven, He will say "I'm glad I placed this desire in you, because look what you have done with it!  Look what you have done in my name!"

Audio Adrenaline - Kings & Queens - YouTube


We sponsor two Compassion Children.  Both in Ethiopia.  Both potentially could be orphans if not for our sponsorship. That's not bragging.  How could it be bragging when in my mind I feel like it's not enough?  It's so little.  There are still millions of orphans.

I post pictures of orphans on Facebook with pleas to people who probably are sick of seeing the pictures and pleas - with the hopes of ONE, yes, just ONE child finding a home because I posted a picture.  It sound ridiculous as I type it.  But I did say it.  ONE?  Seriously, only one?  I'd be happy if ONE child found a home?  Actually, I would, but what does that say about me?  That I set my goals so low in hope of accomplishing them... to feel like I've done something.  It's still only ONE.  

Add that to the two Compassion kids and I'm now up to three (maybe - that is assuming that one child I advocate for finds a home).  

I talk about adoption - to anyone and everyone who will listen.  I know of only one family who has adopted somewhat because of an influence that I had in their life.  They adopted two little girls domestically.  Two kids.

Add that to the three from above and I'm now up to five.  Five kids.  

I have two former "orphans" in my home - forever my daughters, and Lord willing, the process to bring our Isabella home will continue uninterrupted and we will soon bring our third former "orphan" home.  (I hate that word - it hurts just to type it).  Three in my home.  Three now, or soon to be, my daughters.  Three.

Add that to the five I mentioned above and I'm now up to a grand total of eight.  EIGHT.

It's pretty much all the influence I can come up with.  We helped a friend trying to bring two children home from Ethiopia.  One of the two siblings had medical needs.  We contributed to a fund to help bring them home.  Due to some issues, the family was not able to bring these two home.  The money stayed with the children, but I don't know if the kids ever found a new family to call their own.  Maybe there are nine, possibly ten kids out there who no longer orphans because of something directly related to an influence of mine.  

TEN.  It's not enough.  In the amount of time it is taking me just to write this post, there are probably 10 more orphans in the world, if not 10 times 10 more.  My efforts are not enough.  I can't bring enough children home.  I don't have enough money to give to the world to help all who want to bring a child home, bring them home.  I don't have enough people to talk to who will open their eyes to adoption just because I speak.  In fact, I know nothing will happen just because I speak to them.  Adoption, in my mind, is a God-thing.  God asks me to plant the seed, but then the work is His and the individuals to figure out.

So, where does that leave me.  Ten kids no longer homeless....yet the burden remains in my heart.  What do you do with a passion so strong.  It feels like it's burning a hole in my heart due to inactivity on my part.  I need to find something.  I don't know what though...

I'm not even sure what brought this all on today.  Yesterday I started the day with a new picture of our Isabella.  It brought JOY to my heart to see my sweet girl.  She has the prettiest smile and the brightest eyes.  She is such a beautiful girl.  Today I started the day with another e-mail from our agency - not pictures this time, but relinquishment papers.  Isabella's mother signing over Isabella for adoption.  I should have just read the documents and left it at that - but that's not how I'm wired.

What do I do instead?  I imagine what she was feeling the day she gave her declaration to relinquish her child and what it felt like when she placed her fingerprint on the document, sealing the deal.  It states in the document that she understands that if/when Isabella is placed for adoption either in Ghana or Internationally, that she will not have contact with her or see her again.  And still, her situation was such that she was compelled to ink her finger and place it on the document.  I can't imagine.  I tried to, but I can't.  I'd vomit.  Thank GOD my situation is not such that an action like that is required of me.  She is brave.  She is selfless.  She wanted more for her child than what she could give her.  It must be a pretty desperate situation for a mother to get to that point.  

So, all this to say that, the relinquishment papers is what really got me thinking today.  I can't seem to get thoughts out of my mind.  I need to do something.  I need to do more... but I don't know what I can possibly do.

Adopt another child?  No... Tim has already told me that this is our last one (seriously our last one - our whole Journey group heard it last night..... although we all also talked about going to Belize and I said I need to get immigration paperwork ready :).  Ok, this is our last one.  And no, it's not because Tim said so, making him the mean one.  It needs to be our last one.  With my eye sight situation the way it is, and what is financially feasible considering what we have committed to our children in terms of education, etc - finances are not endless and this needs to be it.  

So, what's next?  I'm left feeling empty.  Normally there was paperwork on the horizon.  I was either finalizing an adoption in the US by doing a domestication, getting paperwork ready for a new adoption, doing post placement reports - sometimes at the same time as preparing paperwork for a new home study... but now all that feverish work is coming to an end.  Sure, I'll have post placement reports once a year for the next 14 years for Sara - but not much else.... and that's not much.  Besides that, it does nothing for another child.  Well, I guess it does... it keeps adoptions open for other families who come behind us, but isn't there something more I can do?

I wish I could be part of a team - a team who can go and help.  I wish I could sit with the orphanage children, immerse myself in them, color pictures with them, bring the girls dresses, do their hair, paint their finger nails and toe nails, hug their sweet necks, bring the kids a snack.  I don't have much to offer other than that. 

I think about the teams from our church going to Belize.  Maybe I could go with them, but I feel like I would just be in the way.  They go on medical missions.  I can't help much in that regard.... all I know is that God did not give me this heart to waste.  God gave me compassion for the orphan for a reason.  Right now I guess my action is to pray.  Pray for God to reveal to me what exactly this burning passion in my heart for the orphan means, and what He wants me to do with it.  My prayer is simple - show me Lord, because I desire to do something with it!

Waiting for my mission....

In Christ,
Charity

Adoption Update

An update has been a long time in coming on here...well, not really all that long, but long enough.  If you only read my blog (and not F@cebook) you may be surprised to read the title of this post "Adoption Update".  Yes, I typed that right.  Our "LAST" adoption - our adoption of Sara just happens to not be our last adoption after all.  

I've hesitated to share much on here, because I hate seemingly going back and forth on things.  Tim and I have had to start and stop an adoption process too many times - either because of countries closing down or because of situations with our careers that made adoption not quite reasonable at the time.  So, last spring when we started thinking about adoption again, it took all that was in me to remain quiet about it.  There was too much uncertainty.

We have a unique situation.  Many countries will not accept us as adoptive parents because of my eye condition.  While I am a completely capable mom with few limitations, I do have certain limitations and my eye condition leaves me labeled as "disabled".  Have I ever told you how much I HATE labels?  Labels define people and I'm not defined by my "disability".  Anyway, because of the uncertainty, we decided to just keep things on the "down low".  

God had placed a desire in our heart to adopt again.  We were not certain from where.  If you know anything about me, you know that when I come to a decision on something, I like to pursue it full speed ahead.  I mean, why wait if a decision has been made.  So, since we made the decision to adopt, I wanted to move on it.  And I wanted to do it like YESTERDAY.  Little did I know that God would teach me a lesson though this process though.

While I wanted to move quickly, God was telling me to slow down.  Not audibly of-course, but just whispers in my heart of "something isn't right here".  "What is your motive"?  My motive was to adopt.  To give a home to a child who didn't have one.  Actually, I was going to give a home to a male or female child between the age of 9 - 30 months with no special needs.  I had it written on all of our documents.  That's what we were ready to adopt.  I didn't want to go over Sara's age.  Then we decided to expand the age to include a newborn - because we were considering a domestic adoption.  I convinced myself that was what we were to do.  It was not what my heart desired, but since many countries were not good fits for us, I figured it was one option, and since the door was open, it must be that was what we were to do.

Lesson One:  Just because a door opens, that does not mean that is the path that God wants you to travel.  He may not have been the one to open that door.

So, as we started down the domestic adoption trail, it just didn't feel right.  I kept hesitating.  My desire to press forward just kept shutting off.  Something didn't feel right.  So, after contacting several agencies and getting in touch with an agency to do our home study, I just sat.  I didn't do anything.  In fact, I waited so long that our social worker contacted me to make sure everything was ok.  Yes, everything was fine.... just something wasn't settling with me. I began to think that God was planning a delay for us, so we would be matched with the right birth mother.  But then I decided that even if I were to press on, if God wanted us with a certain family, a certain birth mother, a certain child, that we wouldn't be matched until that baby was ready and the mom was ready to deliver.  So, that was not the problem.  

I prayed about it, and just quenched my urge to press forward.  For like six months.... that is so unusual for me that it isn't even funny!

During that six month "hiatus", we were presented with several "opportunities" - none of which felt right.  All of which I would have to convince myself were the right thing for our family.

Then came the day in November.  I was getting ready for the day, doing my hair when I felt like I needed to check my F@cebook groups.  I was on a waiting child group for Ghana. I opened group and right there, posted just minutes before, was my daughter!!!!  Except - she wasn't exactly the daughter I had planned on.  BUT - I believe she is the daughter God had planned for us.  She was not within my "optimal" age range.  She was older than our Sara which I said I definitely did NOT want.  She was not (obviously) a domestic adoption, which was the route I thought we were going.  She was nothing that I expected, but she was everything I suddenly desired.  EVERYTHING about her felt right.

It felt so right, I suddenly panicked.  I saw this little girl and I knew nothing about her, other than I knew she was meant for our family.  But what if I was wrong.  Many children posted on this page I was on, are actually matched.  Their pictures are posted for the families who are waiting to bring them home.  What if that were the case for "MY daughter"?  What if someone was calling about our daughter as I was having my mini panic attack?  I contacted people immediately.  I contacted Tim and told him I found our daughter and did it matter that she was already four?  I contacted the orphanage to see which agency she was being placed with. Then I contacted the agency.  I breathed a sigh of relief when, within ONE day, she was tentatively ours.  

I had to contact our social worker.  The home study that I had delayed for six months now had to be an expedited home study - which she did an AWESOME job completing in record time I might add!  If you are in the SC area and need a home study recommendation, get in touch with me... I have the BEST!!!  

Now, less than two months after first seeing our daughter's face, we are ready to embark on a very special trip - to meet her for the very first time.  I have completed immigration paperwork and have that ready to send out.  Our home study is complete and about to be sent to immigration.  I have our dossier nearly complete - just waiting on one document.  Our Visas are being sent out tomorrow to approve our trip to Ghana (please, please, please let these come back to us quickly!!!).  And in just three weeks and one day Tim and I will be in the air, on our way to meet Isabella Hope.  Yes, we have decided her middle name will be Hope.  Her Ghanian name is Isabella and we have decided to keep that.  We will give her the middle name Hope.  And since we know her last name, we will give her two middle names - using her last name as her second middle name.  

If everything works out as planned, we will have our little girl home this summer.  Who would have though that I'd start the year with three children and end the year with four - with Sara remaining my baby :)  I certainly didn't imagine that.  But....

Lesson Two - What I didn't imagine, God not only imagined, but made happen!

I'll admit that I'm scared... well, maybe not scared, maybe nervous is the more appropriate word.  I have no experience bringing home a four year old.  I can't imagine how much different it's going to be than bringing home an infant/toddler.  I guess when I brought home Anna, I didn't have experience bringing home a 13 month old, and I made it through that.  When we brought home Sara, we had no experience bringing home an 18 month old and we made it through that.  We'll make it through this as well.  It will just be different.  I imagine it being a bit more frustrating - maybe for us and certainly for Isabella.  She will be able to communicate - and I don't know at this point if she will speak English.  She will have the ability to get her thoughts across to us, but unless she is speaking English, it will seem to fall on deaf ears.  When the kids are smaller, we learn together.  I also don't know how much Isabella's life will impact the bonding process between us and her.  I don't know what her life experiences are.  I am not yet aware of the circumstances that brought her to the orphanage.  Who will she remember? Who will she grieve the loss of?  She will be VERY familiar with the sights, sounds and smells of Ghana - Life here will be completely different for her.  How can I make the transition easier for her?  I guess these are some of the things we will find out when we meet her for the very first time.

I've been on-line and have looked into Ghana.  Oh. My. Goodness!  Accra - which is where we will travel, is STUNNINGLY beautiful!  It is right on the ocean.  We will be able to take trips with Isabella to the ocean if we want to.  I'm really excited about our second trip.  As much as I want her to come home as quickly as possible, I am hoping she will come home in June, because I DESPERATELY want the other three kids to travel with us.  If it is in the summer, I think we will extend the trip a bit and enjoy the sights that Accra has to offer.  It really is beautiful!  I also want them to experience Africa.  To experience Ghana.  And truthfully, to experience the joy that exists in the eyes of little children that have so little.  I think there is a huge lesson to be learned in that for every child.

So, in just over three weeks I will have hugged my little girl for the first time.  I can't wait to share that with you all!

In Christ,
Charity

In the news...

All of us have heard by now of the tragic, sad, horrific event that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  My heart breaks for everyone involved in this tragic event.  Of-course, my first thoughts are for the teachers and children who were killed in the shootings, and for the mother who was killed.  My heart aches for their families.  The families who will not have Christmas with their children this year, siblings who may or may not have been in the same school as the children who did not make it out.  Children who will one day return to school to a new teacher, to a new principal, to new adults in leadership because the brave souls that tried to protect them, did not make it home that night.  I can't express my deepest regret for those impacted.  For the lives that were cut short - be them adults or children - all lives were valuable and all have families who grieve the loss.  

I'm not sure why there is such controversy around this horrific crime.  It's tragic.  I hate to see something so horrible, turn into something political.  The time for that, if there is a time, is later.  After people have time to grieve.  After the town gets put back together.  After the needs of the families are met.  AFTER.... not during.  

The other thing that I can't stand is speculation.  I know that much of the "why" around this event will never be known, and there will always be speculation, if not educated guesses. Maybe they will find something out.  Maybe they will discover an answer, a reason - but until then, there is so much speculation.  It's terrible.  

We've heard so much about the killer.  I don't even want to mention his name because it just brings attention to a person who attention is not needed.  Attention needs to be brought to the families of the children and adults who lost their lives. Not to the man who did this horrific deed.  You hear non-medical personnel on the news stating "facts" that have no factual basis.  They comment on medical information, diagnosis that may or may not have been given to this man, and then they make generalized comments about people with whatever disorder they have assigned to him at any given time.  Aspergers, ADHD, ODD, multiple personality disorder.... the list goes on.  And then the generalized comments start.  "Children and adults with X have a tendency to X".  It's a generalized sweep that IS NOT reality.  It gets under my skin.  

There are so many children diagnosed with Aspergers, ADD, ADHD, ODD and other disorders that are normal functioning children and adults.  Sure, there are those that have a more difficult time, but even then, there are many success stories for each of these cases, even on the high end of the scale of each disorder - to generalize on the negative side is a crime in and of itself.  Do you know that a HIGH percentage of DOCTORS have ADD/ADHD?  Yes, those individuals that you trust the care of your children, self, spouses and parents to have ADD / ADHD.  Ask them.  You might be surprised.  

Many children with these disorders have some difficulties.  They may have adjustments in school.  Some have to take medication and until that medication is "customized" to the child's needs, they may exhibit some problems.  BUT, these children are also successful.  

There is no need to point to a reason for something like what happened at Sandy Hook happening.  If the shooter was missing his left index finger, would we say that he did this because he was missing his left index finger?  If he had red hair, would we say he did it because he had red hair?  If he didn't get good grades?  Or if he got stellar grades?  If he was popular?  If he was not popular?  If he had the measles when he was a child?  Would we point to each of these things?  

Don't get me wrong.  I understand that there may be a link between his condition, treated or not, that may have led him to commit this horrible crime.  BUT, does it have to be discussed so heavily on television?  Does it have to be mentioned at all.  My daughter is 9.  My daughter has ADHD.  This is ALL OVER THE NEWS.  One of the diagnoses that the killer was "assigned" in one of the news reports was ADHD.  Imagine how my daughter must feel.  Like she is part of a population of people who are known to commit violent crimes.  ADHD did not commit this crime.  ODD did not.  HE did.  Plain and simple.  And I believe he was fully aware of what he was doing.  It was planned.  It was calculated.  He knew. 

I have spoken to my daughter about this.  I'm hoping that she heard what I said and took it to heart.  But I know how I would feel if I were her.  I'd feel forever linked to something bad.  I'd wonder if people looked at me differently, or maybe would fear me because of the fact that I had ADHD.  Now, not everyone knows that my daughter has ADHD - well obviously everyone reading this does, but I'm speaking of my daughter's friends and school-mates.  They don't know.  They would have no reason to know.  

The bigger issues lies in the actions of the killer.  Not the diagnosis.  A diagnosis or lack thereof, would not have prevented this.  It shouldn't be turned into anything about a diagnosis.  He was different.  He exhibited things that were questionable to any parent.  It's those things that need to be brought to attention, if anything at all.  Not a diagnosis.  No one child is the same.  I don't care what category you put them in.  My child is not the same as another child who has ADHD.  My child is not defined by her diagnosis.  She just lives with it.  I do what I need to do to help her.  She gets good grades.  She has many friends.  She really just needs to study differently than others.  That's it!!!  Maybe there was something wrong with this young man.  Maybe he was just pure evil.  I don't know.  How about we quit speculating?  How about we just heal and leave it to the experts to figure out?  How about we not spread more "untruths" about conditions that people already have such a prejudice against?  How about we just join together and help these people, this country heal?

And what about the families who lost loved ones?  Do you think they really want to hear "Well, this man was struggling with XXX".  Who cares!  I wouldn't care.  He killed someone's child.  Many people's children.  Mothers.  Aunts.  Cousins.  Friends.  The sound of the killer's name would make me want to vomit.  To know who carried this out is one thing.  To ensure he is off the streets to not harm another.  But he's gone.  Focus the investigation on how we can prevent  - we'll never really know what triggered this anyway.  And sure, I'm all about finding out WHY, but do it in the background, and stop all of the speculation.  

I sent my two oldest kids to school today, fully expecting them to come home this afternoon.  I found myself breathing a sigh of relief when my daughter walked in the door.  I found myself listening for my son to come home and greeting him at the front door - because I know there are families who sent their kids to school on Friday and didn't have the luxury of having them come home.  Times are changing.  Times have changed.  I take every day with my children as a blessing.  I guess it's something good that has come out of this event.  I mean that with NO disrespect.  My heart breaks for the community, for the families, for the lives lost in Newtown, Connecticut.

In Christ,
Charity

When time doesn't matter - with the Broscious Family

I remember meeting Deanne in the Dulles, Washington airport.  It was almost two years ago.  We were making our first trip over to Ethiopia for court.  There was this woman.... peppy as ever and desperate to take pictures!  I figured she would EXHAUST me on the way over to Ethiopia.  For a minute I wondered why I didn't remember Mike being there... I thought maybe because the memories of Deanne overshadowed him....., but then I remembered I didn't have the privilege of meeting Mike until our second trip.  Deanne traveled with a friend on that first trip for court to meet our girls.

I loved Deanne from the moment I met her.  Mike too.  What a great couple.  Deanne has never met a stranger.  You wouldn't believe the number of people she was talking to on that airplane to Ethiopia.  14 hours later and I bet they were ready to get off the plane :)  Just kidding Deanne!!!  Everyone loves you!

We experienced a lot of the "firsts" in our life with Sara, right alongside Mike and Deanne.  The first time we saw Sara, Deanne was there.  She heard Sara scream at us.  She saw, right along with us, this feisty little bundle of energy, slowly begin to come out of her shell and tolerate us.  In the meantime, we got to watch her interact with little Cambria.  The tiny little thing that would smile without prompting.  She was such a teeny little sprite!  We experienced passing court together - that moment when the judge declared that the girls were ours.  I got to hug the new mom and it was great!  We grieved together as we left for home, leaving our newly declared children behind - as we waited for Embassy approval to bring them home.

Just about a month later, were back in the air... this time with Mike in tow, to be reunited with our girls and bring them home with us forever.  Mike fell right into the groove of the group as if he had been with us all along.  It was great to meet the other half of Deanne.  Oh the laughs we had together!  There are some things you can just never forget... apparently Deanne can't forget when I told her to "Shut Up!!!".  It was said with pure love to a dear friend, I'm sure :)

We got to see Mike hold his daughter for the first time.  We got to experience passing Embassy together.  Our families forever connected, not just by the girls we brought home, but by the friendship that was established in that short time, in a foreign country.  I'm truly amazed at what God does in the adoption process.  Deanne and Mike are an additional blessing God gave us through years of disappointment in adoption.  

Nearly two years later, and we had the privilege to meet up with this wonderful family again.  Deanne and Mike were in Myrtle Beach with their family and we could not pass up the opportunity to have them over.  When they pulled up, it was like two years had never passed.  I hate to admit it, but when I saw Deanne, I cried....like a family member you hadn't been able to see in years, but like not a second had passed.  God made that bond stronger over the years and it was like we were never apart.  

Oh, and the GIRLS.  It did a wonderful thing to my heart to see these two Ethiopian beauties together.  And my how they have changed.  Sara, who was so much larger than Cambria, was now small in comparison.  Sara is a little tiny thing, and Cambria, almost a full year younger than Sara is taller than her and weighs more than her.  To see them together again... I really can't describe it.  They didn't know, at least I don't think they knew, what it meant for the two of them to be in a room together again... how a piece of Ethiopian history came together on the soil in America... they didn't understand, they didn't care, but we did.  The girls were together again.  Someday that would mean something to them.

All the time that passed.... it didn't matter!  Love  you Broscious family!  So thankful God put us on that plane together and the girls in their forever homes at the same time!  Let's do it again soon :)

In Christ,

Charity

Quality Mom Reviews

I've ventured out into a new blog... still keeping this one, but starting another one as well.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I analyze things.  I was just born a critical, analytical thinker.  I put that mindset to good use at work, and I've now found a way to do it at home as well.  

I am always "reviewing" products around my home in my head.  Sometimes, when I'm using a product that claims the world on the label and I use it and it's "not so great", I wonder why someone didn't tell me....

Or... I find the world's best kept secret  in a product, and wonder why someone didn't share it with me.  

I realized though, that I don't share my "thoughts" on products with others either... which lead to the birth of my new blog page

Quality Mom Reviews

I had two product packages delivered to my home today for review.  One for a hair care product (great for ethnic / dry / or heat treated hair) and another set of specialty candles (I love candles).  I'll have those reviews up shortly.  Also, the hair care people were kind enough to send me three of the product that I chose for review - one for me to review, and two to share with you - my friends.  

I'm going to give away the hair care product next week.  In order to enter to receive it (I'll have a picture of it up shortly) go to my blog and "follow it".  You have to do this to be entered.  Share this blog on your blog (leave me a comment and a link to your blog where you shared it) and I'll enter you a second time.  Finally, if you share my blog with your friends on FB (add me as a friend Charity Roach) and I'll enter you a third time.  Next weekend I'll draw two winners and will ship them this fabulous hair care product.

I'm also doing some local (Florence, SC) area reviews.  I've already posted two of those for products I have personally purchased recently.  If you are in the Florence, SC area, and want me to feature your product on my blog / Facebook, you can get in contact with me at 

Quality Mom

I'd love to have the opportunity to review your product and feature it on my blog.

Charity

Sara's Dedication - August 5, 2012

Sara Joy trying on her outfit for her dedication day

What a wonderful day we had today.  Today, after much delay (not by choice, but by circumstance), we had Sara's dedication at church.  As baptists, we don't baptize our children as babies.  We believe that baptism follows only after professing your faith in Jesus Christ.  What we do have for families, are "baby dedications".  Ours was more a "Sara dedication" since she is not a baby... but it's really not about the baby anyway - it's more of a public declaration by the parents to raise the child in the Christian faith.  Our pastor starts with a relevant bible verse, asks the church to support us as we raise our children to love the Lord and then prays with us as a church family.  It is much less formal than say a "baptism", but it means the world to me as a parent.

My family!!!  Love this family!

At our dedication, I was able to publicly recognize that this child - Sara Joy Edom Roach - was a child that was known by God before I ever knew her.  God knew her name before we ever thought of knowing it.  God knows her life story before it is played out.  God knew she would be with us!  It amazes me.  A tragic story turned to beauty by the Lord who loves her and who loves us!  So today, we were able to  "give her back to God" - to recognize that she is HIS.  She is with us only for a season, and ultimately she will go back to Him.  We  are afforded the AWESOME privilege of raising her while she is on this earth and today we promised God that we would do the best we could with the child He entrusted to us.  Cameron and Anna were up in front of the congregation with us.  I feel it's so important to stand as a family, because each of us in the house will influence her life and her walk with Christ.  

Sara Joy Edom Roach - one of my three gifts from God!!!

God has been so good to our family!  It felt so good to stand up and in my mind thank God for the family He has given us, thank Him especially today for Sara Joy and to just stand in awe of the miracle of family that He has given us... not just in our own, small family - but in our extended family, our friends (who are like family) and our church family - our huge, loving, supporting, welcoming church family!  There's nothing like walking in a church and feeling at home!  It's been awhile since we've felt that.  But today, when we were dedicating Sara, I felt it.  We were with family!

Such a happy kid!

I was so happy to share the day with my mom and Denis and Tim's parents - Jim and Mavis.  We are so fortunate to have parents that will get up at the crack of dawn, drive from afar to come to an early morning church service with us, to see their grand-daughter dedicated to the Lord.  After celebrating Sara at her dedication at church, we decided to go to dinner as a family and then came back home for a bit of dessert.  Memories are made by days like today.  I know it took some effort to get everyone here as early as we did... but know that it is appreciated.  I won't forget it, Tim won't forget it and we'll help Sara and the kids remember it.

Sara with her new bible - when we asked her where she got it, she said "from God"  You are SO right Sara!

Now, without further adieu here are some (more) pictures from the day....

A little hazy for some reason, and Cameron is playing "cool", but we don't get many pictures of all of us together, so I decided to keep it up here anyway :)

Seriously love this family!

Sara with her new bible - I guess I should tell her that's a page marker... not a hanger!

I chopped off the top of her head... and she's still cute!

total cuteness

She looks so grown up...

With Grandma and Denis on her special day!

so sweet!

With Mamaw and Papaw on her special day!

sitting like a princess for Papaw

The Roach Family

Anna being silly for the picture

If you add all three of these together - you get a good picture of everyone!

Sara opening a gift from Grandma and Denis - a beautiful dress and a super cute fall outfit!

Sara giving thanks for her gift - to Grandma

Maybe she'll thank Denis too...

Yep - thanking Denis too!

Trying on her necklace from Mamaw and Papaw - which shines more, the necklace or that smile?

Looking at  her necklace....

Sara and Papaw

She was loving up to Papaw...

I think she was trying to absorb God's Word...

Mamaw and Anna - isn't her new haircut cute (Anna's haircut) but Mamaw's is cute too :)

Rockin' some guitar for Papaw!

 I am one truly blessed wife, mom, daughter and daughter in law - I have a GREAT family!  To our Cornerstone family - thank you for walking this journey with us!  It takes a village to raise a child and you guys are an AWESOME support system!


In Christ,
Charity

Why is it assumed that DEBATE EQUATES to HATE?

I wrote this yesterday on Chick-Fil-A appreciation day.... one of the most controversial fast food support days I have ever seen....


All day today, I have been biting my tongue.  It's been hard to do.  I went about my day, doing the things I do... as I waited in the Dr. office, finishing an appointment with Anna, I pulled out my phone and opened up Facebook.  It seemed that all anyone had to talk about was Chick-Fil-A and whether or not they would eat chicken today, or ever again for that matter.  Some, ate chicken three times today.  Some, will never eat chicken again for fear it would somehow support Chick-Fil-A.  Personally, I would have had some chicken today, but I was busy doing some other things.  But to limit your diet because of someone voicing their personal views, is in my mind... silly.


Chicken is chicken.  Money is money.  Support what you want to support.  Don't support it if you don't want to.  But whatever you do  (or don't do)... can't we just take the hate out of it all?  There is no good reason for curse words to be exchanged over CHICKEN!!!!!  Even if my eating chicken means I support something that you don't believe I should support.  I know that there is a lot more behind it than chicken, but it seems to have come to that.  If you were in line at Chick-Fil-A today - even by ACCIDENT, or just because you like their food and were really, really hungry - then from what I saw on FB, you are hated by those who are in agreement with same sex marriage.  Ok, so truthfully, no one would really have waited in the long lines that they had to wait in today, unless they were doing it to support a cause that they believed in.  I've looked through my FB posts and saw many unkind words regarding those who were in line today....as much as people are thinking that those in line are haters - take a look in the mirror.  Thank goodness I was not able to get in line today, or I would be among the list of those who are hated!  By virtue of this post though, I will likely join the ranks..... but keep an open mind first... because I'm not a hater....


I started my own FB post, but it got too long, so I just thought I'd wander over here and put my thoughts here....I'll post it to my friends on FB, because I have nothing to hide, and then they can take the appropriate action, if any, if they feel the need to take me off of their friend list....


If I said I stood in line at Chick-Fil-A today, and if I said I support the fact that a marriage is one man and one woman, how many of you would take me off of your FB friend list?  Be honest.  Don't just "de-friend" me.. be sure to leave me a comment, because I want to know that I should miss you.  Marriage being between one man and one woman is what God intended.  It's what I believe.  Anything else is something other than "marriage".  God made it.  God ordained it.. therefore God can define it.  If you want the legal part of marriage, call it something else, call it anything else, have the same legal rights as marriage, I don't care... but marriage, as God intended is one man and one woman.  I'm not taking a stand on rights associated with marriage (which I feel are civil rights), it's about MARRIAGE!!!  I don't "HATE" people for their differing thoughts - I should just be able to support my personal Christian values publicly without being hated, just like everyone else.  There are groups, public events, fraternities, sororities etc for people who support same sex couples.  Just as you have your right to voice your support, I have mine.  I don't hate you for your views.  I'm not naive, and I understand that there is discrimination that I don't live with (trust me when I say I live with my own), but I don't support that discrimination.  I would not "de-friend" you because you were gay.  I would not say bad things about you.  If you needed help, I would help you.  At one point not too long ago, I was a hiring/firing manager - and I would do neither based on sexual orientation.  I cared more about your work ethic than what you did while off the job.  I value you based on you!  Not what you do behind closed doors.  


That being said, I do have my opinions just as you have yours.  Personally, I'm team God.  I won't water it down, because it's who I am.  I'm not going to push it on you, but I will say that I think, based on the bible, that my God wanted marriage to be one man and one woman.  Do I feel it's sinful otherwise?  Based on the God of my bible, yes?  Can I hate you for it?  Based on the God of my bible, NO!  Should I look down on you, torment you, belittle you, call you names, throw ugly names your way, discriminate against you, berate you or in any way, shape or form HATE you?  NO.  Absolutely not!  That's not my God.  That's not what my God represents, and it's therefore not what I am to represent.  


Would I welcome a relationship like that into my home?  No.  Truthfully, call me protective, call me close-minded... call me whatever, but I won't pretend like I support same sex marriage to my children.  I don't get to make decisions for my children, but the way I raise them can influence their future.  In the end, they have their own decisions to make.  However, if a child is exposed to something, good or bad, it is more acceptable to them.  They are my children to raise, and I will raise them in a way that I feel honors God....even if it offends you a little (or a lot).  While I will not welcome a same sex relationship in my home, and my children will see that - they will also see that I can still love the person.  Can I hate the SIN, but love the SINNER?  Yes.  THAT is what I want my children to see.  Again, it sounds harsh, but it's not something I'm willing to water down.  I'm not team heterosexual, or against team homosexual... I'm FOR TEAM GOD!!!!  Being Team God puts me on a side... so that's where I'll stand.  When I get to heaven, if I responded to any homosexual person in a way that God did not intend me to, then I'll answer to HIM!  Until then, I support the man/woman marriage.


So, when I put the title of this in there, it was not a preview of my views that I would be writing about.  So what was it?  It was really, how I was feeling.  All day, I felt the need to say something, to stand up for what I believe.  Not to bash what someone else believes, or deny them of their right to something, but to state what I believe.  It's not wrong for me to do that.  I understand that my views are conservative, but they are MY views, and I have a right to them.  I have a right to say that they are my views, just as you have a right to say what your views are.  My desire is not to offend others.  My desire is not to represent hate.  My desire is to stand firm in MY beliefs.... as controversial as they may be.  


Many people today do water down what they believe.  They make it palatable to everyone.  Life as a Christian is not meant to be palatable to the non-Christian.  Life as a Christian is not mean to be palatable to a Christian living in sin.  Life as a Christian is only meant to be palatable to those who are willing to live the way God intended us to live.  And even then, for the Christian it is not easy.  Palatable, yes - because we chose and desire to live a certain way.. but certainly not easy.... palatable for those who are willing to change, to grow, to be transformed into the image of Christ.  My beliefs - Love God / Love Others... but that does not mean that I have to reject other parts of the bible that God intended me to follow.  Marriage - one man and one woman is clear to me.  I don't care if God only says it once in the bible (and discusses loving others multiple times over)... if God says it once, then it's enough for me.  And the thing about God that is great (one of the many things) is that He never commands us to do something that we can not carry out.  WE CAN support marriage being one man and one woman, and at the EXACT SAME TIME show Christian love to everyone.  Not only CAN we do it, but He EXPECTS it.  That's MY GOD!


So, now that you know my opinion, if you are in a same sex relationship, what should you expect from me?  You should expect me to treat you with love and respect.  I may not welcome a same sex partnership into my home, but I will treat you with the love and respect that God calls me to.  


Views on any topic, including this one, are personal.  Personal views become discriminatory when  you try to force them on others.  Nothing about supporting Chick-Fil-A and their stand on same sex marriage is discriminatory.  Can you be a same sex couple, go into Chick-Fil-A and expect to be served and treated in the same manner as a male/female couple?  Can you work there?  If the answer is yes, then I don't see the discrimination.  


The legal aspects of marriage are separate from this issue... if you can have health care coverage through your work for your partner, if you can collect benefits if they die, if you can go into the hospital room (because you are not recognized as family)... those are distinctly different than - what is marriage defined as?  Do I support same sex marriage?  Just like you can separate hating a sin and loving a sinner, you too can separate the legal and religious aspects of marriage.  HUMANS made it contractual, humans put restrictions around it - GOD defined it.  God ordained it.  God blesses his definition of marriage.  I think the debate here, is really around the definition of marriage.  Sorry if it's not a popular opinion, but God defined it, and I'm following Him....


I may be saying good-bye now to some who are not in agreement with my opinion.  I have friends who are openly gay who may not be my friends anymore.  That's ok.  It's important to stand up for what you believe in... and it's all I'm doing through this post.  My marriage means enough to me to not water it down.  To make it clear that I personally embrace what God told me marriage is.  That I believe what He wrote is what He wanted... and that the bible doesn't change over time.  People are more accepting now of same sex unions... but God's Word never changes and I'm convinced that my definition of marriage is what He intended... because I got it straight from Him.  40 years from now... 100 years from now.... eternity from now one thing will remain.... God's Word and it will never change.


In Christ,
Charity