Life right now seems to be all about "waiting". I'm not a good "waiter", so things have been difficult for me lately.
Adoption: Still waiting. We have been waiting for over 2 1/2 months now. I know, in terms of the adoption world, that is not very long, but as I said.... for me, waiting is difficult. We anticipate having to wait quite a bit longer, so it will be a long spring and summer.
For those of you who have read my previous posts and have been praying for our family, thank you. A great big, HUGE thank you. I always ask people to tell me how God has answered their prayres, so I will tell you how God has answered ours (and yours if you have been praying for our family). If you have been praying specifically for Anna, again, Thank You! God has heard our pleas and has answered in remarkable ways (I'll tell you a bit more about that later). We are on our way to getting some answers. In due time, I will tell this story. Right now, I want to make sure we are doing the right things and making the right choices before we share. I will say though, that we are on our way. Not sure where we are going yet, but we are moving, which is what I needed. It's what we all needed. If you have prayed for me and Tim during this situation, Thank You again. I personally have struggled. I have beaten myself up over the whole ordeal. I have questioned my ability as a mother to make the right choices for my children. I have been physically sick over the whole thing. I have cried more tears than one can imagine. Some were tears of regret. Some were tears of frustration. Some were tears of not knowing what to do next. I have prayed that God show us the way. I have prayed that God give me some comfort - - - that I have tried to do the right thing all along. I think that has come. I'm still scared for moving forward, but I have peace that we are making the right choices. Again, I'll tell the story, but not until we get through it.
Continue to pray for little Anna. Yesterday, (Saturday) I had to go into work. I moved into a new office the end of last week and I needed to get the final move done. So, I went in yesterday and finished. While I was there, I got a phone call from Tim. He said Anna was going to have a black eye. Not that I don't believe Tim, but sometimes he thinks things might be a bit worse than they are. This was NOT one of those times. He was playing in the yard with Anna and Pearl. If he threw it to Anna, and she didn't get it, Pearl was sure to run and get it. Well, one time Anna told Tim to throw the ball at her. Of-course he didn't throw it "at:" her, but threw it in her direction. She didn't catch it, but wanted to get to it before Pearl did. Tim said the whole thing happened in slow motion and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was about 20 feet away from Anna and Pearl and they both went for the ball. Well, Pearl was running full out and when she got to the ball, Anna got there too. Pearl's head ran into the side of Anna's face, right at her eye. She has a huge black eye and it is really swollen. Her cute little almond shaped eye is now nothing but a little slit. I kept an eye on her last night and she had ice packs and ibuprophen to help witth the swelling. This morning it is still swollen. If the swelling doesn't go down, I may run her to the emergency room to make sure there was no damage done around her eye. She is saying it doesn't hurt all that much though, only to touch it. So hopefully it just looks worse than it is.
NOW FOR SOME GOOD NEWS!!!!
On Tuesday, March 2nd, Anna came home from school and told me that during childcare she asked God to forgive her sins and she asked Jesus to come live in her heart!!! She said that I am now her "sister" and her dad is her "brother". Tears streamed down my face. My immediate family is safe for eternity. We will all be together again some day. I was so thrilled. And the best part is... she tells EVERYONE she sees. She does not care who it is or what they might think. She just says "You know what I did?" And then she tells them. It is so wonderful! Nothing can make a mom happier than to know that their children are saved. Anna has a lot to learn, and I'm sure she will grow closer and move further away from God. But the thing that just THRILLS me is that she can never get too far away from Him. No distance is too far. Her name is in the book and it can not be erased!
For those who are wondering how my biking experience is going... it's wonderful. While I was at work yesterday Tim picked me up some clipless pedals and when he came out to pick me up from work, he brought my bike out. About half way home he dropped me off and I rode my bike the rest of the way back. If you have ever ridden with clipless pedals, you know what a challenge they can be at first. I was guaranteed by two of my friends that I would stop, forget I had to take my foot out of the pedal and end up falling over. They don't know me too well though. I have a bit of an obsessive disorder. If you say I can't do it, I will prove you wrong. The challenge was more getting my foot back into the pedal after stopping. But, I made it all the way home without issue. Ok, to tell the truth I was a bit nervous of the pedals, but I had a point to prove, and I proved it :) Some might say that my determination boarderlines on stupidity... and maybe it does, but it's just part of my personality. Not much I can do about that!