We truly are a family redefined. We are husband, wife, son, daughter, step children, biological and adopted children and most importantly, Children of God.

A friend pointed out that I needed to update my blog header. After our adoption from Ethiopia, I had updated it stating how the adoption of Sara Joy completed our family. Well... the journey continues. After much prayer, we have decided to follow what we feel is God's calling for us...we went to Ghana with the intention of adopting a four year old girl, Isabella Hope. Little did we know that she would be the catalyst to bringing home not only her, but her half brother and sister. We will now be adding not only Isabella Hope to our family, but also Mary Grace (9) and Gilbert (6) who we will transition to the name Nathaniel Timothy. The shock is wearing off and the JOY and EXCITEMENT are overwhelming. Now truly, our family is complete. The great part of journeying with God, is that it's always an adventure. He knows where we are going, and for us it is all a marvelous surprise. Looking forward to sharing our family adventures as we walk daily through life and as we venture off to Ghana to bring home Mary, Nate and Isabella! It's always an adventure redefining our family!



Tuesday, December 29, 2009

If you would be so inclined

Dear Friends,

I know over time I have asked for prayer, prayer for this, prayer for that, prayer for the adoption, prayer when I had to leave my family for a month to get Pearl....I'm sure I've asked.  Well, I'm asking again.  It's not for me... well, not really.  It's for Cameron - which I guess indirectly ends up being for me as well.  Anyway, I'm asking for him.

I don't share a whole lot about his life, outside of what happens directly within our family.  I guess this qualifies and if not, I'm going to share it anyway.  Last night I got a phone call that I knew for a couple of months was coming.  I was hoping that it wouldn't come, but it did.  It was from Cameron's dad.  Again, I don't share much about Cameron's life with his dad, or much about his dad at all.... I guess being divorced, it's really not my business to share - but again, I'll share this.  Cameron's dad lives in SC about 2 1/2 hours from us.  He moved here from Michigan about 4 years ago.  It was a good move because Cameron got to see his dad regularly.  Well, about three months ago, Cameron's dad lost his job.  As with everywhere else, the unemployment rate in SC is high.  He has been unable up to this point to find another job.  Tomorrow, he's leaving SC.  I won't go into the details about where he is going, because that's not mine to share, but the impact on Cameron will be great.  He's moving to another state and Cameron won't get to see him like he does now.  Right now he sees him about every three weeks.  It'll probably be three times a year if  he is lucky. 

Cameron is not the type of kid who is going to tell you when he is hurting - and he is definitely not going to tell his dad that it hurts him.  I know his dad is upset for having to leave.  No matter what I think of him, he loves Cameron - and more importantly, Cameron loves him.  That is exactly why Cameron won't tell him that it is bothering him.  I know my son though, and it will bother him.  It bothered me to not be near my family when I was an adult... why woldn't it bother a child?

Here's the kicker though... Cameron doesn't know about this yet.  I got the call last night.  I thought he was not leaving until next week... instead, he is leaving tomorrow.  Tim and I were planning on taking him to see his dad again on Jan 1st.  I was hoping his dad would tell him then and they would at least get to say good-bye (for now) in person.  His dad saw him last week.... and for reasons I don't quite understand, he didn't tell him - and now, he's leaving before he will see him again.  I don't want Cameron to hear something like that over the phone, plus his dad is fairly emotional about the whole thing right now, so that wouldn't help matter either.  I almost don't blame his dad, because I would not want to tell my child that either - but sometimes as a parent, you have to do things that you don't want to do, for the benefit of your child - for their well-being.  That being said, since it is apparent that his dad is not telling him, that task will fall on me.  His dad said he would call and tell him when he got settlted in... well, in my mind, that's not good enough.  How do I explain that he is not going to see his dad on the 1st?  I will have to tell him.

Please pray for comfort for Cameron.  I know he is worried about his dad.  Besides losing his job, he is having some health issues (probably anxiety related as a result of losing his job) and I'm sure that is bothering Cameron as well.  Last week when Cameron was with his dad, his dad had to go to the emergency room because of these issues.  I'm sure Cameron is struggling with all of this, and me telling him his dad won't be here anymore will just make it worse.

Please pray for Cameron - and pray for me that I find the right words when I tell him what's going on.  It breaks my heart to have to do that.  Please also pray that I find a way to say the right words that encourage Cameron to talk to me about how he feels about the whole thing.  I know it will hurt him, but it's unlikely that he will share that.

Thanks for listening and thanks for your prayers for my Cameron.

In Christ,
Charity

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

Oh, that is just heartbreaking...I pray you find the words and he has the strength.

Lori said...

Praying for your strength and blessings for all--including Cameron's dad. Praying for comfort for your heart, as I know the thought of your child hurting hurts you to the core.
Love!

Corinne said...

I will remember Cameron in my prayers and for you to know how to comfort him. It is so hard to see our children have to go through hard experiences. He is however blessed to have such a loving concerned mother.