First I will start with the good news. I can now see out of both of my eyes! Whoo-Hoo. It's not the absolute right prescription for my eye right now, but at least I can see out of it. Still have the headaches, but I think it will take some time for my eye to adjust to being used again. Hopefully that will happen soon. I'm just glad to be able to see somewhat normally again. Thank you for your prayers!
On a very sad note, after my Dr. appt this morning, I was riding into work with Tim and got a phone call from work. Tragically, on the way into work today a young man that I work with was killed. He was driving into work and it seems as though he went off the shoulder of the road a bit and overcorrected and flipped his vehicle several times. I don't know all the details, but I do know that a police officer was traveling behind him at the time and witnessed it. He was wearing a seat belt. He wasn't speeding. It seemed to be just an accident. The young man was 24.
My heart sank when I heard the news. I rejoiced in only ONE fact - that this young man was a Christian. He is in the arms of Jesus!!! He stopped by my office one day a few weeks ago and asked if he could talk to me. So, we chatted. He was asking me about my eye condition, how I knew I first had a problem, and how I coped through the circumstances that come along with it. Obviously that opened the door to a very spiritual conversation, as it is only through the strength and provisions provided by God that I make it. I told him that much. I told him how I dealt with it in an ungodly manner prior to my salvation. I was so angry and it was a huge struggle. The anger is now gone, the struggle is still there, but I know I will be provided for. All of my needs will be met. God has a plan for me with even this condition.
He shared with me his spiritual beliefs. He put his faith in Jesus Christ. I am SO glad that I know that. I'm so glad that I had that conversation with him. I'm not sure WHY that conversation happened, but I'm sure it happened for a reason. As a result of his death, I was able to share his spiritual beliefs with a few people today - maybe that is some of the good that will come out of this tragedy.
Hold your children close tonight. Remember the Allen family in your prayers tonight. I can't imagine the heartbreak in that family. I can't imagine the feeling of such a sudden tragedy. Remember his friends, because he had many and I'm sure they are hurting. Remember those who work with him - as I'm sure they are struggling through today. I saw him yesterday and now he is gone today. Life can change in the blink of an eye. Are you ready to go to your eternal home if this were to happen to you? Have you put your faith, your future in the hands of Jesus Christ? I mean REALLY put your eternal destiny in the hands of Christ? If you have - Praise God. If not, it's something you should really think about.
Please pray with me tonight for this very hurting family!
In Christ,
Charity
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
You have BLESSED me!!!
I want to personally thank all of you who are participating with me in my prayer project. I get so excited to see my comments every day. I really do pray for each of you who have requested prayer - on a DAILY basis. I want you to know that I didn't just ask.... I'm actually doing it.
I say this is a blessing to me, because it really is. I think it has brought me closer to God by praying for you. I wasn't really looking for a personal benefit out of all of it, but wanted instead to turn my focus away from myself and onto the needs of others for a bit. I'm learning though, that when you focus on others, God will bless you.
You've probably noticed my "red section" at the top of the blog. This is for people who visit only occasionally... or maybe only ONCE. I wantt them to know that I will pray for them as well. It doesn't matter if you visit once and then never come back - leave a request... I'm happy to pray for it! I just didn't want to miss those who only stop by occasionally and may not see my "Prayer Project" posts! I want it available for everyone to see.... always!
Please don't forget to let me know when your prayers are answered. That's the part I'm REALLY looking forward to... seeing how God works all of this out (for good, for those that love God, for those that are called according to His purpose).
On another note, I head back to the eye doctor tomorrow. Hopefully he will be able to give me a prescription and I can start wearing a contact in my right eye. A week of not being able to see out of my right eye has been difficult. Hopefully that will all get better tomorrow.
In Christ!!!!!
Charity
I say this is a blessing to me, because it really is. I think it has brought me closer to God by praying for you. I wasn't really looking for a personal benefit out of all of it, but wanted instead to turn my focus away from myself and onto the needs of others for a bit. I'm learning though, that when you focus on others, God will bless you.
You've probably noticed my "red section" at the top of the blog. This is for people who visit only occasionally... or maybe only ONCE. I wantt them to know that I will pray for them as well. It doesn't matter if you visit once and then never come back - leave a request... I'm happy to pray for it! I just didn't want to miss those who only stop by occasionally and may not see my "Prayer Project" posts! I want it available for everyone to see.... always!
Please don't forget to let me know when your prayers are answered. That's the part I'm REALLY looking forward to... seeing how God works all of this out (for good, for those that love God, for those that are called according to His purpose).
On another note, I head back to the eye doctor tomorrow. Hopefully he will be able to give me a prescription and I can start wearing a contact in my right eye. A week of not being able to see out of my right eye has been difficult. Hopefully that will all get better tomorrow.
In Christ!!!!!
Charity
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A new way to tell me how to pray
I'm a bit bummed. I was hoping I would be OVERWHELMED with prayer requests.... I mean who does NOT need someone to pray for them.... about a specific situation, about an ongoing situation. It doesn't matter... I WANT TO PRAY ABOUT IT. I want to see how God is intervening in our lives and how prayers are answered. So, I was talking to my friend Angie about it today... about my "prayer project" and I was telling her how I was disappointed in the response. Only one person has allowed me to know their request and pray for them.
Then Angie told me that maybe people don't want to share their information as a comment. Maybe I need to provide an e-mail where they can just tell me privately. Good idea!!! maybe that is the reason. So, here is the e-mail: (click on the address below to e-mail me)
t_croach@sc.rr.com
Please e-mail me if you would rather not share your prayer requests in my comment section. Seriously, I want to pray for you. Please allow me to do it.
While I am at it, I will share a few of my requests that I am taking to God daily and that I'm hoping He will answer:
1. Pray for healing of my eye. I'm having a difficult time with it right now and need it to heal quickly. I need to be able to see out of my right eye again.
2. Pray for my family - that I be a good example to my children in terms of them seeing me taking my petitions to the Lord, serving God and serving others.
3. Pray for our adoption process - that God keeps the doors to Ethiopia open so we can be referred our daughter and bring her home.
4. Praise - My husband seems to be on board with "just one more adoption" after our process for Sara Joy is complete!!!! Praise GOD for that one!
Please send me your prayers! And please... send this blog to anyone you know who needs prayer. I will pray for them, whether I know them or not. All I ask is for how God answered, when He does (and I know He will!!!)
In Christ
Charity
Then Angie told me that maybe people don't want to share their information as a comment. Maybe I need to provide an e-mail where they can just tell me privately. Good idea!!! maybe that is the reason. So, here is the e-mail: (click on the address below to e-mail me)
t_croach@sc.rr.com
Please e-mail me if you would rather not share your prayer requests in my comment section. Seriously, I want to pray for you. Please allow me to do it.
While I am at it, I will share a few of my requests that I am taking to God daily and that I'm hoping He will answer:
1. Pray for healing of my eye. I'm having a difficult time with it right now and need it to heal quickly. I need to be able to see out of my right eye again.
2. Pray for my family - that I be a good example to my children in terms of them seeing me taking my petitions to the Lord, serving God and serving others.
3. Pray for our adoption process - that God keeps the doors to Ethiopia open so we can be referred our daughter and bring her home.
4. Praise - My husband seems to be on board with "just one more adoption" after our process for Sara Joy is complete!!!! Praise GOD for that one!
Please send me your prayers! And please... send this blog to anyone you know who needs prayer. I will pray for them, whether I know them or not. All I ask is for how God answered, when He does (and I know He will!!!)
In Christ
Charity
Saturday, January 16, 2010
One month and how can I pray for you????
According to the little "ticker" at the bottom of my blog, we have been waiting exactly 4 weeks and 2 days for the referral of our little Sara Joy. Well, guess what? That little ticker LIES!!!! I know that I'm the one what set it up and I'm the one that imput the information, but seeing it say only one month just doesn't seem right. Although, if I put the actual information in there, people would freak out...wondering why we have been waiting so long.
So, it's been one month..... this time. Maybe I should put that on there.... still it would probably generate more questions than I would want to answer. So, I'll just go with the one month and know that it's either been the LONGEST month of my life and the kids grew like weeds during that month, and oh yeah, skipped a couple of grades - - - or, even though it says one month, know that it has been more like 30+ months.
Even if I go with just the one month, it seems like so long. By the time you get all of your paperwork done, that usually takes a good six months - unless you are an expert at it by now, like me, and can get it done in less than 4 months - add that to your wait time. Most families don't just come up with the idea of adoption one day and do it the next either. There is usually some time of consideration. There are usually circumstances to work out too.... either they just had a baby (baby needs to get older), they are pregnant (one thing at a time), there are finances (yeah, adoption is not cheap), there are family issues (try bringing a family on-board with adoption, it sometimes can be difficult), a new job (probably should be in it for awhile before announcing an adoption), an ill family member (is this really a good time), praying for a change of heart for husband or wife (God's timing, not ours) - all these things delay the process and add to the wait time.
I know that the same is true for pregnancy. Some people have to wait and wait. They hold off until the perfect time, thinking that they can get pregnant right away, and then it does not happen... for weeks, months, years. I was not one of those people. Not from the pregnancy side. It happened right away. I was blessed in that regard. But truthfully, when I think back to how long I have truly been waiting to adopt.... it has been nearly 25 years.
I have a biological son. I have completed an adoption. That does not make the wait for this one any easier. To tell you the truth, my heart is already aching for the NEXT one after this one! I guess when it comes to that one, I'm in the position of making sure that my husband is on board with that one. Since I've given the next one a name, it's a little harder for him to say "no" - not that he would say no, but he has not said yes yet either. That will come with time though :)
So, in just the 30 days that we have been waiting for our referral, Christmas came and went. The tree came down and the house went back to normal. Our kitchen floor was ruined. A new year came upon us. Anna learned how to ride a bike w/o training wheels. Our plumbing messed up and we got to pour money into that. My friend announced she is expectiing. I had eye surgery. Tim lost 17 pounds.... and our little girl is 30 days older.
We had three meals a day during those 30 days (if we wanted to anyway). I hope our Sara did as well. We had warm comfortable beds to sleep in. Not sure about our little girl.
I wish she were home with us. A month is so long in the life of a child. I look at how my children have grown in the past month... the things they have learned, how they have physically grown. Even Cameron at 10 years old has changed in a month. He is learning so many new things at school, our relationship has changes, it has gotten more mature. He has two new teeth coming in. Anna, since she is younger is changing even more. She has developed such a sense of humor. She is learning in leaps and bounds. She is in Kindergarten and I'm constantly amazed at the new things she is learning. She can read more and more every day. She can take a word and mark all the long and short vowel sounds (I'm sure I couldn't do that in 5K). Like I said, she learned to ride her bike... in just two days. Imagine how Sara is changing. I don't know how old Sara is, but my guess is she is born already. We requested up to a 2 1/2 year old. My guess is she is here. Is she learning how to walk right now? Is she with her family? What will happen in her little life to make her an orphan? I hope someone will comfort her until we can be there for her.
How long has your wait been? Can I pray for you during your wait? Maybe you are not waiting for a referral, but there is something else that I can pray for you about... if so, could you please tell me? Maybe you are waiting for your spouse to get on board with an adoption. If so, let me know. Maybe you are not adopting at all, but need prayer for something different. Maybe you are trying to have a baby (the biological way), please let me know. Maybe you are trying to sell your home, or looking for a job... it doesn't matter what it is... I'd like to know. This year I would like to focus a little less on myself and a little more on ministering to others. I know this post was all about me and my wait, it's my outlet to express my feelings, but it is also a way for me to ask for ways that I can pray for you. Specifically. Please let me know specifically what I can pray for you about. I am going to keep a journal and will pray specifically for your requests daily. The only thing I ask is that when your prayer is answered... please don't forget to tell me about it. I want to write that in my journal too. I know God answers prayers... and sometimes I need to be reminded how they are answered... and in his time. So, comment away and tell me what I can take to the Throne of Grace for you. It would make my day. I'll keep reminding you to send me your prayers, because I can't wait to see how God answers His children this year. Ooohhh, I'm getting goose bumps. I just had to go change the title of this blog... it started out all about me. I have never purposfully prayed for other people (who I never even met) and had the opportunity to follow up with them. To hear how and when their prayers were answered. I promise I will pray for you, if you promise you will let me know the outcome. I will take your petition to the Lord, DAILY. I promise. How exciting! I can't wait to hear how the year ends with prayers answered. Maybe that will be a year end post - how the Lord answered prayers for my friends this year.
I'll ask for them every week!!! If you have one though, and don't need a reminder, just tell me about it at any time. If you have 50 prayer requests, I don't care. I won't get sick of seeing your requests and I won't get sick of talking to the Lord about you. Please, please, please.... even if only ONE person participates with me - you will be blessing me by allowing me to pray for you. Don't hold back. I really can't wait to see what God will do.
In Christ,
Charity
So, it's been one month..... this time. Maybe I should put that on there.... still it would probably generate more questions than I would want to answer. So, I'll just go with the one month and know that it's either been the LONGEST month of my life and the kids grew like weeds during that month, and oh yeah, skipped a couple of grades - - - or, even though it says one month, know that it has been more like 30+ months.
Even if I go with just the one month, it seems like so long. By the time you get all of your paperwork done, that usually takes a good six months - unless you are an expert at it by now, like me, and can get it done in less than 4 months - add that to your wait time. Most families don't just come up with the idea of adoption one day and do it the next either. There is usually some time of consideration. There are usually circumstances to work out too.... either they just had a baby (baby needs to get older), they are pregnant (one thing at a time), there are finances (yeah, adoption is not cheap), there are family issues (try bringing a family on-board with adoption, it sometimes can be difficult), a new job (probably should be in it for awhile before announcing an adoption), an ill family member (is this really a good time), praying for a change of heart for husband or wife (God's timing, not ours) - all these things delay the process and add to the wait time.
I know that the same is true for pregnancy. Some people have to wait and wait. They hold off until the perfect time, thinking that they can get pregnant right away, and then it does not happen... for weeks, months, years. I was not one of those people. Not from the pregnancy side. It happened right away. I was blessed in that regard. But truthfully, when I think back to how long I have truly been waiting to adopt.... it has been nearly 25 years.
I have a biological son. I have completed an adoption. That does not make the wait for this one any easier. To tell you the truth, my heart is already aching for the NEXT one after this one! I guess when it comes to that one, I'm in the position of making sure that my husband is on board with that one. Since I've given the next one a name, it's a little harder for him to say "no" - not that he would say no, but he has not said yes yet either. That will come with time though :)
So, in just the 30 days that we have been waiting for our referral, Christmas came and went. The tree came down and the house went back to normal. Our kitchen floor was ruined. A new year came upon us. Anna learned how to ride a bike w/o training wheels. Our plumbing messed up and we got to pour money into that. My friend announced she is expectiing. I had eye surgery. Tim lost 17 pounds.... and our little girl is 30 days older.
We had three meals a day during those 30 days (if we wanted to anyway). I hope our Sara did as well. We had warm comfortable beds to sleep in. Not sure about our little girl.
I wish she were home with us. A month is so long in the life of a child. I look at how my children have grown in the past month... the things they have learned, how they have physically grown. Even Cameron at 10 years old has changed in a month. He is learning so many new things at school, our relationship has changes, it has gotten more mature. He has two new teeth coming in. Anna, since she is younger is changing even more. She has developed such a sense of humor. She is learning in leaps and bounds. She is in Kindergarten and I'm constantly amazed at the new things she is learning. She can read more and more every day. She can take a word and mark all the long and short vowel sounds (I'm sure I couldn't do that in 5K). Like I said, she learned to ride her bike... in just two days. Imagine how Sara is changing. I don't know how old Sara is, but my guess is she is born already. We requested up to a 2 1/2 year old. My guess is she is here. Is she learning how to walk right now? Is she with her family? What will happen in her little life to make her an orphan? I hope someone will comfort her until we can be there for her.
How long has your wait been? Can I pray for you during your wait? Maybe you are not waiting for a referral, but there is something else that I can pray for you about... if so, could you please tell me? Maybe you are waiting for your spouse to get on board with an adoption. If so, let me know. Maybe you are not adopting at all, but need prayer for something different. Maybe you are trying to have a baby (the biological way), please let me know. Maybe you are trying to sell your home, or looking for a job... it doesn't matter what it is... I'd like to know. This year I would like to focus a little less on myself and a little more on ministering to others. I know this post was all about me and my wait, it's my outlet to express my feelings, but it is also a way for me to ask for ways that I can pray for you. Specifically. Please let me know specifically what I can pray for you about. I am going to keep a journal and will pray specifically for your requests daily. The only thing I ask is that when your prayer is answered... please don't forget to tell me about it. I want to write that in my journal too. I know God answers prayers... and sometimes I need to be reminded how they are answered... and in his time. So, comment away and tell me what I can take to the Throne of Grace for you. It would make my day. I'll keep reminding you to send me your prayers, because I can't wait to see how God answers His children this year. Ooohhh, I'm getting goose bumps. I just had to go change the title of this blog... it started out all about me. I have never purposfully prayed for other people (who I never even met) and had the opportunity to follow up with them. To hear how and when their prayers were answered. I promise I will pray for you, if you promise you will let me know the outcome. I will take your petition to the Lord, DAILY. I promise. How exciting! I can't wait to hear how the year ends with prayers answered. Maybe that will be a year end post - how the Lord answered prayers for my friends this year.
I'll ask for them every week!!! If you have one though, and don't need a reminder, just tell me about it at any time. If you have 50 prayer requests, I don't care. I won't get sick of seeing your requests and I won't get sick of talking to the Lord about you. Please, please, please.... even if only ONE person participates with me - you will be blessing me by allowing me to pray for you. Don't hold back. I really can't wait to see what God will do.
In Christ,
Charity
Friday, January 15, 2010
Today's the day
*****Update****** For all those who prayed... thank you very much! The surgery went well. I head back to the doctor tomorrow for another check. Hopefully all will look good. I can't see much of anything right now, so please bear with me if there are typos :) As for the meds during surgery.... same as last time. I remember about 2 minutes of the whole experience. Those meds are AWESOME!!! Again, thank you for your prayers. I hope to know soon how much this has impacted my vision. Hopefully in a noticable way*********
This morning I am headed over to the Dr. office for my eye surgery. Not real excited about it. I guess I should be, but I'm not. Hopefully I will be excited when it is over and maybe in a couple of days find that I can see so much better. That woudl be the ultimate outcome. If you are a praying person, please pray for that for me. I feel as though God is going to bless me through this, even in a small way. And though that may be small - to just make my sight a little bit better - in all actuality, it is HUGE for me. I'm not looking for all of my sight back - just make the sight I have clear. I pray I get that.
What I am NOT looking forward to, is the procedure. I hate all things "eyeball". Working on an eye creeps me out. I think I said it before when I had my other eye worked on. It's just creepy to me. I don't want anyone touching my eye!!! I was crazy enough to read up on the procedure and what they will be doing. Well, ignorance would have been bliss, because now I know and I wish I didn't.
The last time I had this surgery, I remembered NOTHING. Well, I'll tell you what I remembered. I was on a bed being wheeled into the surgical room. They stopped at the door to open them. I don't remember going in the doors, I don't remember the procedure. The next thing I remember is being again on the other side of the surgical room doors, in the hallway. It's STRANGE. I do remember at one point in time, feeling someone touching my hand. They held it for a long time. I just remember my mind feeling that. It's strange but the feeling was in my head and not on my hand. I was apparently awake and talking during the entire procedure. Who knows what I must have been saying. If I was awake, I'm sure I wasn't saying "hey, this is cool that you are going to poke that thing into my eyeball". I guess I'm glad I don't remember. How they get that medication to work like that, I'm not sure.... but I'd like to have that again.
I'm a bit more nervous now because when I was scheduling the surgery they said that they are using different medications now and it would not be like last time. NO!!!! MAKE IT LIKE LAST TIME!!!! I was having too many things run through my head to ask exactly which part would be different. I hope the memory part will not be different.
Kent and Megan came over last night to pray with me about the surgery. I thought that was very nice of them. It is good to know that you have people praying with you. It's also good to know I have such wonderful friends.
In Christ,
Charity
This morning I am headed over to the Dr. office for my eye surgery. Not real excited about it. I guess I should be, but I'm not. Hopefully I will be excited when it is over and maybe in a couple of days find that I can see so much better. That woudl be the ultimate outcome. If you are a praying person, please pray for that for me. I feel as though God is going to bless me through this, even in a small way. And though that may be small - to just make my sight a little bit better - in all actuality, it is HUGE for me. I'm not looking for all of my sight back - just make the sight I have clear. I pray I get that.
What I am NOT looking forward to, is the procedure. I hate all things "eyeball". Working on an eye creeps me out. I think I said it before when I had my other eye worked on. It's just creepy to me. I don't want anyone touching my eye!!! I was crazy enough to read up on the procedure and what they will be doing. Well, ignorance would have been bliss, because now I know and I wish I didn't.
The last time I had this surgery, I remembered NOTHING. Well, I'll tell you what I remembered. I was on a bed being wheeled into the surgical room. They stopped at the door to open them. I don't remember going in the doors, I don't remember the procedure. The next thing I remember is being again on the other side of the surgical room doors, in the hallway. It's STRANGE. I do remember at one point in time, feeling someone touching my hand. They held it for a long time. I just remember my mind feeling that. It's strange but the feeling was in my head and not on my hand. I was apparently awake and talking during the entire procedure. Who knows what I must have been saying. If I was awake, I'm sure I wasn't saying "hey, this is cool that you are going to poke that thing into my eyeball". I guess I'm glad I don't remember. How they get that medication to work like that, I'm not sure.... but I'd like to have that again.
I'm a bit more nervous now because when I was scheduling the surgery they said that they are using different medications now and it would not be like last time. NO!!!! MAKE IT LIKE LAST TIME!!!! I was having too many things run through my head to ask exactly which part would be different. I hope the memory part will not be different.
Kent and Megan came over last night to pray with me about the surgery. I thought that was very nice of them. It is good to know that you have people praying with you. It's also good to know I have such wonderful friends.
In Christ,
Charity
Monday, January 11, 2010
130 week expecting.... and counting
I know I don't make the record books for the longest "paper pregnant" person, but it sure does feel like it at times. I don't understand why it has been so difficult for us to bring home our daughter!!! When I went through the process to adopt Anna, it took me on year from my start of contacting agencies, to referral. Anna is from China. I was home with her 14 months after I started the process. I know to adopt from China today, you can expect to wait 5 years for a referral. God had a plan for me and Anna. I'm thankful that it did not take 5 years for me to bring my baby girl home. I know God has a plan for our family and our Sara Joy as well.... I just wish it was not taking so long.
When we first started this adoption process 2 1/2 years ago, we gleefully announced to all of our friends that we hoped to have our daughter home with us from Vietnam in the Spring of 2008. I had two friends that were expecting at the time we made our announcement that we were adopting. We were all excited to be going through this phase of life - albeit differently - together. One of them has a little girl who will soon turn two and the other has a little boy about 18 months and is expecting again. And here I am... still "paper pregnant". Although I have little twinges when I hear someone is expecting, it's not because I'm not happy for them, it's just that I want my little girl to finally be home!
The saddest part is, that Tim and I could have a biological child. It would not be good for me, with my eye condition, but it is possible. We could've had a couple kids by now... but it's not the way we want to continue to build our family. I don't really have that "desire" like I did when I was expecting Cameron. I had a HUGE desire to be pregnant. I don't anymore... although I LOVED being pregnant (I mean seriously, loved, loved, loved it), if you gave me a choice today to have another biological child or expand our family through adoption, I would choose adoption. I have a HUGE desire to adopt. I just don't understand why it has to take so long.
There are millions of children in Ethiopia in need of a home. Why can't I have one? I don't want one that already has a home, I want one that needs a home. Should it really take this long? I don't think so. But again, I know God has a plan, and I'm in it with Him to bring our daughter home. I just hope I'm not like 80 before that happens :)
Someday, I will stand before God - thankfully, only for the blood of Christ covering me, I will be allowed in. I wonder if you get some time with God when you first get there. If I do, I've got a lot of questions for Him. They all start with "Why". Why did my dad have to die when I was only 28? Why did He take my dad before I could get to his side? Why did I have to have this eye condition? Why did He allow Vietnam to close to adoptions? Why could our daughter not come from Kyrgyzstan? Why did the journey to Sara Joy take so long? Why was this adoption desire placed in my heart so long ago?
I believe that I know some of the answers to these questions, but I would like them confirmed. I don't know why my dad had to leave this earth at such a young age, but my guess I didn't make it there in time because God was protecting me. It would have KILLED me to see my dad leave this earth. God made provisions though for me to tell my dad exactly how I felt about him before he left. God used my dad's wife Brenda. She read a letter to my dad, from me, right before he died. It was everything I would have wanted to say if I were there with him, but probably would not have been able to. The eye condition - I think it keeps me humble. It demonstrates to me on a daily basis that I am not in control. I can not provide for myself. God will provide for me. As for the adoption - I'm not sure. We so want our Sara Joy home and to me it seems senseless for her to be anywhere but with us. I'm sure she needs us and much as we want her home.
Well, for now, I have no answers, so we just continue to wait. Hopefully sometime soon we will have news of our referral and finally see the face of our Sara Joy!
In Christ,
Charity
When we first started this adoption process 2 1/2 years ago, we gleefully announced to all of our friends that we hoped to have our daughter home with us from Vietnam in the Spring of 2008. I had two friends that were expecting at the time we made our announcement that we were adopting. We were all excited to be going through this phase of life - albeit differently - together. One of them has a little girl who will soon turn two and the other has a little boy about 18 months and is expecting again. And here I am... still "paper pregnant". Although I have little twinges when I hear someone is expecting, it's not because I'm not happy for them, it's just that I want my little girl to finally be home!
The saddest part is, that Tim and I could have a biological child. It would not be good for me, with my eye condition, but it is possible. We could've had a couple kids by now... but it's not the way we want to continue to build our family. I don't really have that "desire" like I did when I was expecting Cameron. I had a HUGE desire to be pregnant. I don't anymore... although I LOVED being pregnant (I mean seriously, loved, loved, loved it), if you gave me a choice today to have another biological child or expand our family through adoption, I would choose adoption. I have a HUGE desire to adopt. I just don't understand why it has to take so long.
There are millions of children in Ethiopia in need of a home. Why can't I have one? I don't want one that already has a home, I want one that needs a home. Should it really take this long? I don't think so. But again, I know God has a plan, and I'm in it with Him to bring our daughter home. I just hope I'm not like 80 before that happens :)
Someday, I will stand before God - thankfully, only for the blood of Christ covering me, I will be allowed in. I wonder if you get some time with God when you first get there. If I do, I've got a lot of questions for Him. They all start with "Why". Why did my dad have to die when I was only 28? Why did He take my dad before I could get to his side? Why did I have to have this eye condition? Why did He allow Vietnam to close to adoptions? Why could our daughter not come from Kyrgyzstan? Why did the journey to Sara Joy take so long? Why was this adoption desire placed in my heart so long ago?
I believe that I know some of the answers to these questions, but I would like them confirmed. I don't know why my dad had to leave this earth at such a young age, but my guess I didn't make it there in time because God was protecting me. It would have KILLED me to see my dad leave this earth. God made provisions though for me to tell my dad exactly how I felt about him before he left. God used my dad's wife Brenda. She read a letter to my dad, from me, right before he died. It was everything I would have wanted to say if I were there with him, but probably would not have been able to. The eye condition - I think it keeps me humble. It demonstrates to me on a daily basis that I am not in control. I can not provide for myself. God will provide for me. As for the adoption - I'm not sure. We so want our Sara Joy home and to me it seems senseless for her to be anywhere but with us. I'm sure she needs us and much as we want her home.
Well, for now, I have no answers, so we just continue to wait. Hopefully sometime soon we will have news of our referral and finally see the face of our Sara Joy!
In Christ,
Charity
Sunday, January 10, 2010
When it rains....I grow
When it rains..... what happens when it rains? We all know. When it rains, it pours. When it rains, you get wet. When it rains you feel cold. When it rains, things grow. Hhmmmm - when it rains, I grow. Then it must be growing pains..... Because it's raining and it hurts. I do have to qualify my hurt though. I know that some people have so much more to deal with in their life than I do. I would not trade them places to save my life - but I can still grumble a bit, can't I?
I wrote a few posts ago about all that is happening in our life / home financially since we started moving again with regard to the adoption. Well, add another bill to the long list. Thursday night we got home from work and I had Anna upstairs in her bathroom taking a shower. Laundry was going. I was on the phone with Anna's teacher. Tim came into the office where I was sitting.... he didn't look happy. He keeps sighing like I have been on the phone WAY too long. I give him a look like "It's Anna's teacher, what am I supposed to do???" When I got off the phone, I found out why he looked like that.... While Anna was showering and the laundry was ... being laundered... the tub and shower in the master bath were filling up. And even when the water was off and the laundry stopped - they were not draining. SERIOUSLY???? Come on!!! We haven't even finished dealing with the floor problem in the kitchen yet! So, Tim ran out to get some Draino. It would've had to have been some pretty strong Draino.... and unfortunately it was not strong enough. With two kids and not being able to flush a toilet, we had an issue. We waited awhile to see if the Drano would work and then we headed off to a hotel for the evening. Fun stuff!
Friday Tim and I were home dealing with that. The first guy that showed up - USELESS and might as well have been a bank robber for what he wanted to charge us to do nothing. Tim then called someone else, and a very respectable guy came out, explained the problem and discussed our options. We ended up getting running water, but it cost us a bit!
I wonder when it will all end? When will Satan see that we are going through with the adoption no matter what he throws at us. Short of one of us dying, we are going (I probably shouldn't have even said that). When will he get the clue? Our DAUGHTER is there, and no one will keep us from getting our daughter! Not even all of the financial intervention of Satan!
And now for the growing part. I think all of the problems were have encountered with the house lately have allowed me to grow. I've learned to step back and say "it's ok". No, we don't have our kitchen floors replaced yet, but what difference does it make? I still have a house to live in and my family is healthy! Normally things like this would freak me out. I would obsess over getting the floors completed. I would have CRACKED at the plumbing falling apart after our floor issue. I would have put the for sale sign in the yard and started finding my new home. One without all of these issues. Well, I'm not moving and there is no sign in the front yard. Now that we have had to deal with the plumbing issue, it may take us a bit longer to get the floors, but that is ok. At least Tim and I both have jobs that allow us to make good money and for the most part fund these projects without credit. It may take us longer, but we eventually get it done. I've learned to let go a bit. if you know me at all, you know just how difficult that is for me. It is time though to look Satan in the eye and say "nice try". There is no detour for us. God is our GPS and this is where He is taking us through to get to our daughter.
I mentioned before that another one of our financial slams has been my upcoming eye surgery. The surgery itself will cost us a bundle, but then also I have had to get both new glasses AND new contacts. Well, that time has come...On Friday I will have my second eye surgery. Please pray for me that it goes smoothly. I'm a bit nervous about it. I probably won't be able to see for awhile, as they are working on my right eye, and that is where most of my vision is. And to make matters worse, Tim is going out of town. He should be home for the surgery..... or should I say he WILL be home for the surgery. He was orignially supposed to leave Monday and come back Wednesday afternoon. It has been changed to leaving on Tuesday and coming back Thursday afternoon. The only question mark in the whole deal is that he is going to Baltimore. My guess is there is snow there. He has promised me that if there is more than a 20% chance of snow on Thursday, that he will not go. I know he needs to go, and I also know I can call on my family and friends if I need to, to help me out if he misses the surgery. But, I would really like my husband there for this. There are very few thinggs in life that I'm really uncomfortable and nervous about.... however, one of them is eye surgery. I'm also not real comfortable expressing my nervousness in front of anyone - really not even Tim, but I can with him. Last time I couldn't sleep for days before the surgery. I just kept thinking of all that could happen. I kept wondering what I would experience, what I would feel. It all ended up being fine last time, but this time... it's my right eye. That ups the ante a bit. I'll need Tim there. So, please pray for me and pray that Tim makes it home in time to be with me for the surgery.
Finally, and I know this is a long post - but for all of you that have been praying for Cameron with regard to the situation with is dad, THANK YOU. He is managing fairly well. Cameron is sad about the whole situation, but he understands. He is handling it well. It was heartwrenching for me to have to tell him, but it had to be done. I'm not sure when he will have the opportunity to see his dad again so please continue to keep Cameron in your prayers.
In Christ,
Charity
I wrote a few posts ago about all that is happening in our life / home financially since we started moving again with regard to the adoption. Well, add another bill to the long list. Thursday night we got home from work and I had Anna upstairs in her bathroom taking a shower. Laundry was going. I was on the phone with Anna's teacher. Tim came into the office where I was sitting.... he didn't look happy. He keeps sighing like I have been on the phone WAY too long. I give him a look like "It's Anna's teacher, what am I supposed to do???" When I got off the phone, I found out why he looked like that.... While Anna was showering and the laundry was ... being laundered... the tub and shower in the master bath were filling up. And even when the water was off and the laundry stopped - they were not draining. SERIOUSLY???? Come on!!! We haven't even finished dealing with the floor problem in the kitchen yet! So, Tim ran out to get some Draino. It would've had to have been some pretty strong Draino.... and unfortunately it was not strong enough. With two kids and not being able to flush a toilet, we had an issue. We waited awhile to see if the Drano would work and then we headed off to a hotel for the evening. Fun stuff!
Friday Tim and I were home dealing with that. The first guy that showed up - USELESS and might as well have been a bank robber for what he wanted to charge us to do nothing. Tim then called someone else, and a very respectable guy came out, explained the problem and discussed our options. We ended up getting running water, but it cost us a bit!
I wonder when it will all end? When will Satan see that we are going through with the adoption no matter what he throws at us. Short of one of us dying, we are going (I probably shouldn't have even said that). When will he get the clue? Our DAUGHTER is there, and no one will keep us from getting our daughter! Not even all of the financial intervention of Satan!
And now for the growing part. I think all of the problems were have encountered with the house lately have allowed me to grow. I've learned to step back and say "it's ok". No, we don't have our kitchen floors replaced yet, but what difference does it make? I still have a house to live in and my family is healthy! Normally things like this would freak me out. I would obsess over getting the floors completed. I would have CRACKED at the plumbing falling apart after our floor issue. I would have put the for sale sign in the yard and started finding my new home. One without all of these issues. Well, I'm not moving and there is no sign in the front yard. Now that we have had to deal with the plumbing issue, it may take us a bit longer to get the floors, but that is ok. At least Tim and I both have jobs that allow us to make good money and for the most part fund these projects without credit. It may take us longer, but we eventually get it done. I've learned to let go a bit. if you know me at all, you know just how difficult that is for me. It is time though to look Satan in the eye and say "nice try". There is no detour for us. God is our GPS and this is where He is taking us through to get to our daughter.
I mentioned before that another one of our financial slams has been my upcoming eye surgery. The surgery itself will cost us a bundle, but then also I have had to get both new glasses AND new contacts. Well, that time has come...On Friday I will have my second eye surgery. Please pray for me that it goes smoothly. I'm a bit nervous about it. I probably won't be able to see for awhile, as they are working on my right eye, and that is where most of my vision is. And to make matters worse, Tim is going out of town. He should be home for the surgery..... or should I say he WILL be home for the surgery. He was orignially supposed to leave Monday and come back Wednesday afternoon. It has been changed to leaving on Tuesday and coming back Thursday afternoon. The only question mark in the whole deal is that he is going to Baltimore. My guess is there is snow there. He has promised me that if there is more than a 20% chance of snow on Thursday, that he will not go. I know he needs to go, and I also know I can call on my family and friends if I need to, to help me out if he misses the surgery. But, I would really like my husband there for this. There are very few thinggs in life that I'm really uncomfortable and nervous about.... however, one of them is eye surgery. I'm also not real comfortable expressing my nervousness in front of anyone - really not even Tim, but I can with him. Last time I couldn't sleep for days before the surgery. I just kept thinking of all that could happen. I kept wondering what I would experience, what I would feel. It all ended up being fine last time, but this time... it's my right eye. That ups the ante a bit. I'll need Tim there. So, please pray for me and pray that Tim makes it home in time to be with me for the surgery.
Finally, and I know this is a long post - but for all of you that have been praying for Cameron with regard to the situation with is dad, THANK YOU. He is managing fairly well. Cameron is sad about the whole situation, but he understands. He is handling it well. It was heartwrenching for me to have to tell him, but it had to be done. I'm not sure when he will have the opportunity to see his dad again so please continue to keep Cameron in your prayers.
In Christ,
Charity
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Biker Chick (and dude aka Cameron)
Today has been a very productive day. It was a bit chilly here today, so I spent most of the day in the house doing some "spring" cleaning. I cleaned out closets and gave outgrown coats to House of Hope, we cleaned out the garage and Tim worked in the yard. We have one area of the back yard that I think was sectioned off for a compost pile. We never used it. When we opened the gates and looked inside, it was very overgrown with weeds and stuff... so today, while it was cold, Tim attacked it. You have to be careful doing stuff like that in warm weather here, because of the poisonous snakes that we have here. So, Tim got that mostly done today. The kids were very helpful and played outside, riding bikes. They cleaned out the truck and basically kept out of trouble today.
Before all that started this morning though, Tim and I ran out with the kids to do a bit of shopping. I am having eye surgery in two weeks, and once the surgery is done, I won't be able to wear contacts for awhile. Also, my glasses will no longer be the appropriate prescription. So, while I could still see, we decided to go and pick out glasses for me. That way, once the surgery was done, and I got a new prescription, I would just be able to go and give them the Rx and already have the frames picked out. I'm really glad I thought to do it in advance, because I would not be able to see a thing if I waited until after the surgery to pick them out.
The kids wanted to run to Target so we did that. We ran and got Pearl her dog food and we were home for the day.
While I was in the house cleaning, Cameron and Anna were practicing getting Anna to ride her bike. She is AWESOME at it now. Tim and I took all of our stuff to the dump and when we got home, I decided to get some pictures of the kids riding around outside. Anna decided to go down the subdivision on her bike, and I was able to get a good picture of her riding. Here are some pictures from today:
Cameron hates this picture, but I like it... and since it's my blog, my pictures and my camera, I get to decided what goes on it. I win!!!
.
So, that was our day today. Tomorrow it's church and then getting everyone ready to go back to school. Actually, it will probably be harder to get me ready to go back to work!
Thankful for a wonderful day with my family (Cameron asked me who says "fam" - apparently I do, but I'm the only one in the world left who says it).
In Christ,
Charity
Before all that started this morning though, Tim and I ran out with the kids to do a bit of shopping. I am having eye surgery in two weeks, and once the surgery is done, I won't be able to wear contacts for awhile. Also, my glasses will no longer be the appropriate prescription. So, while I could still see, we decided to go and pick out glasses for me. That way, once the surgery was done, and I got a new prescription, I would just be able to go and give them the Rx and already have the frames picked out. I'm really glad I thought to do it in advance, because I would not be able to see a thing if I waited until after the surgery to pick them out.
The kids wanted to run to Target so we did that. We ran and got Pearl her dog food and we were home for the day.
While I was in the house cleaning, Cameron and Anna were practicing getting Anna to ride her bike. She is AWESOME at it now. Tim and I took all of our stuff to the dump and when we got home, I decided to get some pictures of the kids riding around outside. Anna decided to go down the subdivision on her bike, and I was able to get a good picture of her riding. Here are some pictures from today:
Cameron hates this picture, but I like it... and since it's my blog, my pictures and my camera, I get to decided what goes on it. I win!!!
Here is Cameron rip-sticking and Anna riding the power wing. Only in the south could you ride stuff like this just one week after Christmas!
Cameron told me to tell everyone he was performing a very complex and difficult "manual" (whatever that is) when he took this graceful spill! (note the rip stick off to the right bottom of the picture :)
Anna riding her bike down the streets of the subdivision. I'm so proud of her. She actually is really good now and can go super far. By summer she will be ALL OVER the bike trail behind our house!
And finally, a picture of the fam (minus me).
So, that was our day today. Tomorrow it's church and then getting everyone ready to go back to school. Actually, it will probably be harder to get me ready to go back to work!
Thankful for a wonderful day with my family (Cameron asked me who says "fam" - apparently I do, but I'm the only one in the world left who says it).
In Christ,
Charity
Friday, January 1, 2010
"Welcome" to 2010
Last night, we welcomed 2010 with friends. Ok, we really didn't hang out until 12:00 when the ball dropped and 2010 was officially here, but does that really matter? I don't think so. It was a time for good friends to get together and have a great time. I know personally, I'm looking forward to what 2010 has to offer.
Today I feel at a loss for words, so I'm just going to share some of my favorite pictures from the evening:
Pearl: - isn't she just precious?
Sorry I don't have much else to share today. I have been busy taking down Christmas decorations. The house is now nearly back in order, and I just thought I would take a minute to share these pictures.
Here's to a wonderful 2010 for all of our friends and family!
In Christ,
Charity
Today I feel at a loss for words, so I'm just going to share some of my favorite pictures from the evening:
Pearl: - isn't she just precious?
Cameron - Entertaining the group
Cameron
This one is for my brother-in-law: a plate full of creme puffs... if only he could have been here
Anna Clare
Cameron and Hamilton
Anna in her shades - what a super star!
Here's to a wonderful 2010 for all of our friends and family!
In Christ,
Charity
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