Waiting for answers

Life right now seems to be all about "waiting".  I'm not a good "waiter", so things have been difficult for me lately. 

Adoption:  Still waiting.  We have been waiting for over 2 1/2 months now.  I know, in terms of the adoption world, that is not very long, but as I said.... for me, waiting is difficult.  We anticipate having to wait quite a bit longer, so it will be a long spring and summer.

For those of you who have read my previous posts and have been praying for our family, thank you.  A great big, HUGE thank you.  I always ask people to tell me how God has answered their prayres, so I will tell you how God has answered ours (and yours if you have been praying for our family).  If you have been praying specifically for Anna, again, Thank You!  God has heard our pleas and has answered in remarkable ways (I'll tell you a bit more about that later).  We are on our way to getting some answers.  In due time, I will tell this story.  Right now, I want to make sure we are doing the right things and making the right choices before we share.  I will say though, that we are on our way.  Not sure where we are going yet, but we are moving, which is what I needed.  It's what we all needed.  If you have prayed for me and Tim during this situation, Thank You again.  I personally have struggled.  I have beaten myself up over the whole ordeal.  I have questioned my ability as a mother to make the right choices for my children.  I have been physically sick over the whole thing.  I have cried more tears than one can imagine.  Some were tears of regret.  Some were tears of frustration.  Some were tears of not knowing what to do next.  I have prayed that God show us the way.  I have prayed that God give me some comfort - - - that I have tried to do the right thing all along.  I think that has come.  I'm still scared for moving forward, but I have peace that we are making the right choices.  Again, I'll tell the story, but not until we get through it.

Continue to pray for little Anna.  Yesterday, (Saturday) I had to go into work.  I moved into a new office the end of last week and I needed to get the final move done.  So, I went in yesterday and finished.  While I was there, I got a phone call from Tim.  He said Anna was going to have a black eye.  Not that I don't believe Tim, but sometimes he thinks things might be a bit worse than they are.  This was NOT one of those times.  He was playing in the yard with Anna and Pearl.  If he threw it to Anna, and she didn't get it, Pearl was sure to run and get it.  Well, one time Anna told Tim to throw the ball at her.  Of-course he didn't throw it "at:" her, but threw it in her direction.  She didn't catch it, but wanted to get to it before Pearl did.  Tim said the whole thing happened in slow motion and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  He was about 20 feet away from Anna and Pearl and they both went for the ball.  Well, Pearl was running full out and when she got to the ball, Anna got there too.  Pearl's head ran into the side of Anna's face, right at her eye.  She has a huge black eye and it is really swollen.  Her cute little almond shaped eye is now nothing but a little slit.  I kept an eye on her last night and she had ice packs and ibuprophen to help witth the swelling.  This morning it is still swollen.  If the swelling doesn't go down, I may run her to the emergency room to make sure there was no damage done around her eye.  She is saying it doesn't hurt all that much though, only to touch it.  So hopefully it just looks worse than it is. 

NOW FOR SOME GOOD NEWS!!!!
On Tuesday, March 2nd, Anna came home from school and told me that during childcare she asked God to forgive her sins and she asked Jesus to come live in her heart!!!  She said that I am now her "sister" and her dad is her "brother".  Tears streamed down my face.  My immediate family is safe for eternity.  We will all be together again some day.  I was so thrilled.  And the best part is... she tells EVERYONE she sees.  She does not care who it is or what they might think.  She just says "You know what I did?"  And then she tells them.  It is so wonderful!  Nothing can make a mom happier than to know that their children are saved.  Anna has a lot to learn, and I'm sure she will grow closer and move further away from God.  But the thing that just THRILLS me is that she can never get too far away from Him.  No distance is too far.  Her name is in the book and it can not be erased!

For those who are wondering how my biking experience is going... it's wonderful.  While I was at work yesterday Tim picked me up some clipless pedals and when he came out to pick me up from work, he brought my bike out.  About half way home he dropped me off and I rode my bike the rest of the way back.  If you have ever ridden with clipless pedals, you know what a challenge they can be at first.  I was guaranteed by two of my friends that I would stop, forget I had to take my foot out of the pedal and end up falling over.  They don't know me too well though.  I have a bit of an obsessive disorder.  If you say I can't do it, I will prove you wrong.  The challenge was more getting my foot back into the pedal after stopping.  But, I made it all the way home without issue.  Ok, to tell the truth I was a bit nervous of the pedals, but I had a point to prove, and I proved it :)  Some might say that my determination boarderlines on stupidity... and maybe it does, but it's just part of my personality.  Not much I can do about that!

In Christ,
Charity

The Castle

So, here are the long awaited (yeah, right) castle pictures.  The kids had a really great time making it, and I enjoyed getting to know one of Cameron's good friends.  Tim I think had fun with it as well.  I've also thrown in a few snow pictures (since we don't see much of it around here) and maybe a few other odds and ends. 

Cameron and Cody out in the snow

Cameron and Anna - before church

Cody and Cameron

The beginning of a castle

Pearl - enjoying the warm sunshine (the previous weekend before the snow)

The castle walls go up

Future Engineers?

Cameron with the finished product

Project Manager and Project owner (one of them)

Standing guard on top of the castle

The drawbridge invasion (notice the alligators in the moat?)

The battle on the bridge

Snow on the tree

Pearl - not real impressed with any of it.

I hope you enjoy the pictures. 

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers.  We are struggling with a very difficult issue right now, and I would appreciate the continued prayers.  We got the ball rolling today to try to find some answers.  I pray they come quickly.

In Christ,

Charity

Disappeared???

So, it has been some time since I have posted.... many may have thought I have fallen off of the face of the earth - or just simply disappeared.  I was on a "blog-roll" there for awhile, and then I was just done.  Well, here I am back again, so I have neither disappeared nor fallen off the face of the earth.  I simply took a break.  There was too much going on, and I needed to focus my attention on some other things.

First, the adoption.  No news there yet.  We have been on the wait list for over two months now, and I'm hoping to get some sort of update from our agency next week.  I hope it will be some good news.  They do not really like to give out wait times, or where you stand in terms of a waiting line - which I understand - but at the same time, I'd like some information... if nothing more than to appease me :)  We really would like to know our little girl sometime soon.

Our home has seemingly been infested with germs.  I'm not sure why, probably just sinus issues as the weather is changing (and getting warmer which I can't complain about) but we have all been feeling under the weather because of it.  Last night I went to bed at 6:30 and left my poor husband to deal with the children because my head hurt so badly.  I was nearly in tears.  Anna has been sick for the past week with congestion and coughing - and LOUD snoring throughout the night... poor girl.  Cameron has suffered from the sinus headaches and Tim really hasn't been feeling well.  To top it all off, Pearl has taken a really long time to get over her gastro enteritis.  She has been to the vet three times to try to cure it.  Every time I think she is on the mends, she ends up getting sick again.  She is doing well right now, and I'm hoping this is the end of it, but it was just three days ago that she was at the vet again.  Maybe I just need a huge can of Lysol and a couple of days to clean :)

We are struggling with some other more personal issues right now as well.  I don't want to go into the details because right now, I think it is a private issue that probably should not be shared.  Anyway, it involves our little Anna and the issue has been weighing very heavily on my heart.  I know I should not worry, but it has caused me to not sleep well and has really exhausted me emotionally.  It isn't anything that we as a family can not manage, but it's working through the details that has been tough.  I guess you really know just how much you love your children when you are faced with a difficulty and come to the realization that you would do anything in the world for them.  I've known that about my Anna since the first minute I saw her sweet face, but this issue just confirms it.  The love I have for that little girl runs deep.  Very deep.  Almost painfully deep.  She is the little girl I dreamed about since I was 8 years old.  She is the adoption that I knew would happen.  She is the answer to many prayers and dreams fulfilled.  With all that, we are struggling right now.  I'll share more as we know more information, but for now, just pray for our family, and for my little girl.  Pray for Tim and I as her parents, that we have the wisdom to do what is right for our little girl.

One night (or one morning in the wee hours of the morning) when I was not sleeping, I came to the conclusion that I miss cycling.  I need an exercise program that I enjoy and I decided that cycling was it.  So, last weekend I went and bought a road bike.  I picked it up last night.  I got the shoes, the helmit, the bike, the clothes... the whole nine yards.  I'm hoping this will be a nice weekend and I can start my cycling.  If you know me at all, you know that I will overdo it and I probably won't be able to get out of bed on Sunday.  No pain, no gain... all or nothing.  I can't wait to get out on the road again though.  Time to myself, wonderful exercise and relaxation!  Maybe I can ride the distance to Ethiopia before we go and get our little girl.  Maybe that will be my goal!

I'll try to get better at writing again... I've got a lot to share, just not sure right now how to share it.  Oh, and the next post (soon) will have castle pictures.  You will be amazed at what two ten year olds (and my husband) can do!

In Christ,
Charity

Home Sweet Home

Pearl finally got to come home from the vet Friday night.  Poor baby!  She was a very sick puppy.  When we picked her up from the vet though, she was very happy to see me.  They had given her a bath and she was all nice and clean and very happy to see her family again.  She probably thought we had just left her there for good!

They had to shave part of her leg where she had to have the IV put in.  She has probably lost a little bit of weight, and she is very tired, but other than that, she seemed alright.  I bet she did not get much sleep there, as she is used to being a bit spoiled here at home and didn't have her mat and soft, comfy blanket with her at the vet. 

When we got her home, I had to give her the antibiotic that the vet gave us.  WHAT A CHORE!!  It was time for her to eat, so I just put it in her food (it's a pill) and she walked up to the bowl and refused to eat.  So, I took it out and wrapped it in a piece of cheese.  She ate that, but quickly realized that there was a pill in it and tried to spit it out.  After that she refused to eat anything.  I think she thought I would try to give her more pills. She is doing alright now, and is slowly getting back to her normal self.  It was touch and go for awhile though.  She was quite sick.

Cameron had a friend over for the weekend.  He is doing a project at school where he has to build a castle.  He is building one with two other boys in his class.  One of them, Cody, came to spend the weekend with us this weekend and work on the project.  He wasn't planning on being at our home the entire weekend, but I stole him from his parents.  He is a GREAT kid.  We just kept keeping him!  We took him to dinner Saturday night and were going to take him home after dinner - but we decided to keep him.  We were going to take him to church and give him back to his parents at church (they go to the same church as we do) - but even then we decided to keep him.  We finally allowed him to go home Sunday afternoon.  I love when I meet friends of my kids and I learn what a positive influence and what a good friend they can be to my children.  Cody is one of those kids!  Anyway, they had fun working on the castle (and so did my engineer husband).  They will probably have the most structurally sound castle ever built (he asked them for a scale model drawing.... SERIOUSLY???!!!).  They got a pretty good start on the castle.  While Tim was working on cutting the pieces, they were hamming it up on the trampoline.  They had a GREAT time.  I have lots of pictures I'll need to take some time to download. I even have pictures of the castle - in progress - which will be fun to post in sequence.  They are making it out of wood, pvc piping, styrofoam and who knows what else.  But it will have a moat and a WORKING (if all goes well) drawbridge.  Fun stuff.

Not a whole lot else going on.  The kids are active - the parents are active - we are all just plain busy, but with not too much exciting stuff!

In Christ,
Charity

Uuuggghhh!

It's been a rough couple of weeks....After my last post, we had a bunch of stuff happen.  We took a trip to see my mom and Denis the weekend before last.  We had a good time visiting with them.  We came home and went to church on Sunday.  Cameron went forward during the invitation to be baptized!  That was WONDERFUL.  He has been struggling with it for some time - he really doesn't like a lot of attention.  But, he did it!  He will be baptized in a few weeks!

The next day, we went to work and auditors showed up at the front gate of our company.  When auditors show up, NOTHING happens other than working with the auditors.  I was in work at 6:00 in the morning and usually not home until after 8:00.  It was crazy!  Talk about being tired!  The good thing is, when the auditors left, we had a spotless audit!  I was thrilled!  This was the first audit I had to handle on my own, and I was so pleased of the outcome!

This past weekend, Cameron was in a bad mood.  The kids were stuck in the house because of freezing rain.  They couldn't go outside and play and they must've gotten a bit of cabin fever.  Cameron has been a bit irritated with his sister lately anyway.  Well, Sunday, he decided enough was enough, and he was leaving  home.  Now, I can talk about this now, but at the time, it kinda hurt.  I knew Cameron wasn't leaving, but it hurt to hear him say that he wanted to.  He was going to take his cell phone and his wallet (which has a grand total of $40 in it) and he was leaving.  He was quite disappointed when I told him that he could not take the phone because we pay for it.  So, he volunteered to give me $20 to pay for his phone for the next two months - that way he could take the phone.  Smart kid... but I don't think so.  I asked him where he was going, and he was going to live at his friend's house.  I asked him if he thought his friend's mom was just going to come and pick him up and he said no.  He knows where his friend lives.  I asked him where that was, and he said it was near the bakery.  That is like 10 miles from our house.  And Cameron was going to WALK there in the freezing rain!  Obviously my son decided to stay at home and he is now living happily again.  It was actually kinda funny.  I think that happens to most 10 years old.  I think they all threaten to run away from home at some time.  Cameron is a great kid - I'm sure it is just "growing pains".

Today, I had to take my baby to the doctor.  My baby, baby.  My little Pearl.  We went to the vet this morning because she has been throwing up for three days.  She was up all last night throwing up every two hours.  Poor baby.  When I got her to the vet today, she was dehydrated and had blood in her stool.  Poor baby.  The worst part is, that they had to keep her.  They needed to get fluids and antibiotics in her.  You have to understand that Pearl is not like every other dog.  She is with me 24 / 7 and she does not like being away from me in a room let alone being completely separated from me.  And I don't necessarily like being separated from her either.  She is my eyes (and she is a sweet little dog).  The vet said they are going to have to keep her for a couple of days.  If she is not feeling better tomorrow after antibiotics today then they will have to run X-rays tomorrow.  I hope my little girl is alright!

So, it's been kinda an exciting couple of weeks.  I think I need a nap!

In Christ,
Charity

Sad News

First I will start with the good news.  I can now see out of both of my eyes!  Whoo-Hoo.  It's not the absolute right prescription for my eye right now, but at least I can see out of it.  Still have the headaches, but I think it will take some time for my eye to adjust to being used again.  Hopefully that will happen soon.  I'm just glad to be able to see somewhat normally again.  Thank you for your prayers!

On a very sad note, after my Dr. appt this morning, I was riding into work with Tim and got a phone call from work.  Tragically, on the way into work today a young man that I work with was killed.  He was driving into work and it seems as though he went off the shoulder of the road a bit and overcorrected and flipped his vehicle several times.  I don't know all the details, but I do know that a police officer was traveling behind him at the time and witnessed it.  He was wearing a seat belt.  He wasn't speeding.  It seemed to be just an accident.  The young man was 24. 

My heart sank when I heard the news.  I rejoiced in only ONE fact - that this young man was a Christian.  He is in the arms of Jesus!!!  He stopped by my office one day a few weeks ago and asked if he could talk to me.  So, we chatted.  He was asking me about my eye condition, how I knew I first had a problem, and how I coped through the circumstances that come along with it.  Obviously that opened the door to a very spiritual conversation, as it is only through the strength and provisions provided by God that I make it.  I told him that  much.  I told him how I dealt with it in an ungodly manner prior to my salvation.  I was so angry and it was a huge struggle.  The anger is now gone, the struggle is still there, but I know I will be provided for.  All of my needs will be met.  God has a plan for me with even this condition.

He shared with me his spiritual beliefs.  He put his faith in Jesus Christ.  I am SO glad that I know that.  I'm so glad that I had that conversation with him.  I'm not sure WHY that conversation happened, but I'm sure it happened for a reason.  As a result of his death, I was able to share his spiritual beliefs with a few people today - maybe that is some of the good that will come out of this tragedy. 

Hold your children close tonight.  Remember the Allen family in your prayers tonight.  I can't imagine the heartbreak in that family.  I can't imagine the feeling of such a sudden tragedy.  Remember his friends, because he had many and I'm sure they are hurting.  Remember those who work with him - as I'm sure they are struggling through today.  I saw him yesterday and now he is gone today.  Life can change in the blink of an eye.  Are you ready to go to your eternal home if this were to happen to you?  Have you put your faith, your future in the hands of Jesus Christ?  I mean REALLY put your eternal destiny in the hands of Christ?  If you have - Praise God.  If not, it's something you should really think about.

Please pray with me tonight for this very hurting family!

In Christ,
Charity

You have BLESSED me!!!

I want to personally thank all of you who are participating with me in my prayer project.  I get so excited to see my comments every day.  I really do pray for each of you who have requested prayer - on a DAILY basis.  I want you to know that I didn't just ask.... I'm actually doing it.

I say this is a blessing to me, because it really is.  I think it has brought me closer to God by praying for you.  I wasn't really looking for a personal benefit out of all of it, but wanted instead to turn my focus away from myself and onto the needs of others for a bit.  I'm learning though, that when you focus on others, God will bless you.

You've probably noticed my "red section" at the top of the blog.  This is for people who visit only occasionally... or maybe only ONCE.  I wantt them to know that I will pray for them as well.  It doesn't matter if you visit once and then never come back - leave a request... I'm happy to pray for it!  I just didn't want to miss those who only stop by occasionally and may not see my "Prayer Project" posts!  I want it available for everyone to see.... always!

Please don't forget to let me know when your prayers are answered.  That's the part I'm REALLY looking forward to... seeing how God works all of this out (for good, for those that love God, for those that are called according to His purpose).

On another note, I head back to the eye doctor tomorrow.  Hopefully he will be able to give me a prescription and I can start wearing a contact in my right eye.  A week of not being able to see out of my right eye has been difficult.  Hopefully that will all get better tomorrow.

In Christ!!!!!
Charity