We truly are a family redefined. We are husband, wife, son, daughter, step children, biological and adopted children and most importantly, Children of God.

A friend pointed out that I needed to update my blog header. After our adoption from Ethiopia, I had updated it stating how the adoption of Sara Joy completed our family. Well... the journey continues. After much prayer, we have decided to follow what we feel is God's calling for us...we went to Ghana with the intention of adopting a four year old girl, Isabella Hope. Little did we know that she would be the catalyst to bringing home not only her, but her half brother and sister. We will now be adding not only Isabella Hope to our family, but also Mary Grace (9) and Gilbert (6) who we will transition to the name Nathaniel Timothy. The shock is wearing off and the JOY and EXCITEMENT are overwhelming. Now truly, our family is complete. The great part of journeying with God, is that it's always an adventure. He knows where we are going, and for us it is all a marvelous surprise. Looking forward to sharing our family adventures as we walk daily through life and as we venture off to Ghana to bring home Mary, Nate and Isabella! It's always an adventure redefining our family!

Monday, April 5, 2010

When is a family complete?

Easter Sunday has come and gone and I managed to go the weekend without a post…. Not too surprising since we were busy most of the weekend. We had a GREAT time hanging out with the kids and enjoying the nice South Carolina weather! Today is supposed to be 87 degrees! Wonderful for this time of year!!! The flowers are sure enjoying the warm weather… although so are the weeds :)

This weekend Tim and I had quite a long discussion…well, it was not all one, long, consecutive discussion, but bits and pieces over the weekend. We were talking about kids. I know that Sara will not be our last child. Nathaniel will come next. Where he will come from, I’m not sure, but he will come to us, Lord willing. We will do what we can to get him to us. Where do you stop though? Personally, I could go on and on forever, but when do you determine the right time to stop? Is it based on finances? Personal comfort? The ideal sized family? I personally don’t buy any of those. Tim brought up some good points… things that I need to think about – like when do we give our time to the children we already have? When do you take into consideration our age and how old we will be when the child grows up and is out of the home?

To me, finances are clear – God gives us our money and it is His. All of it. We have to choose wisely when we use it. We don’t need all the things that we have. I think a lot of it is for personal pleasure or comfort. If we cut back, we could bring more children into our home.

God gives us our time as well. This is where it becomes a little more difficult for me. Many times you can work harder or longer and make more money. You can never make more time though. We all have the same, limited amount in every single day. So, I have to make time for work, time for church, time to sleep, time for the kids’ homework, time for making dinner, time for bathing the kids, time for soccer practice, time for grocery shopping, time for getting ready in the morning, time for taking care of the yard, time for feeding the dog, time for …. And the list goes on and on. It’s all God’s time. Are we using it right? Will another child fit into the appropriate “time slot”? That is a sad comment, but it is a true one.

The discussion with Tim brought me to tears this weekend – not because he is more set on the plans for our family, but because he is right. We can not help them all. But that thought makes me sick to my stomach. We have so much and some have so little. We will have another child. We will bring our Sara home. We will bring our Nathaniel home. That will probably be it though. Is that enough for God to say “you did what I asked”? I don’t know. My heart’s desire is for children. Maybe God has these plans for us (adding Sara and Nate to our family) and then bigger plans – to uproot Tim and I from our comfort zone in later years and go where the children are, instead of bringing the children to us. Maybe that is what God will have us do. All I know is that my heart didn’t break this weekend for no reason – it broke because God made it break. God planted a seed and we will wait to see how it grows.

How did you determine that your family was complete? I’d love to hear the comments. Even if you are in the beginning stages of planning your family, or are in the middle of making your family – I’m sure (like me) that everyone has a “plan”. My plan has changed over time, but I always had one. I’d also love to hear how if you had a plan, how it changed with time, like mine.

Short Updates:

Anna – Wonderful! Praise God! She is up to 24 green tickets in a row. Thank you for your prayers!

Adoption – we are about 3 months and 3 weeks into our wait for a referral. We are hoping we will have to wait less than the anticipated wait time of about 9 months. We desperately want to know our daughter!

The kittens – excellent!!! What a wonderful addition to our home. They are so sweet and snuggly!  We absolutely LOVE them!

In Christ,



Bella Michelle said...

Ok, first the weather in SC was wonderful last week when we were there and I am hoping it holds for our return trip this week!

Family size is a funny issue for our family. When we married we planned to be DINKs (duel income, no kids) but after several years of marriage we decided to have one...then 5 years later we decided for another....5 years later God decided that we were not complete and we were blessed with another. IT is funny becuase if we felt about family and family size now when we 1st got married I am sure we would have more. 3 is a LOT of children in both of our extended families (both have many, many onlies or 2 max so they have really freaked on us with JUST 3). Anyway...I have had periods of mourning the children we will not have but am at peace that God is in control and HE blessed us with 3 amazing, wonderful special gifts and I am content in that...though, at times I do long for my season of full time parenting to never end. (((hugs)))

Lori said...

Last person in the world to talk about how big my family is supposed to be because that's pretty much the topic of my life for the last 10 years.
That said...praying for you and yours, and excited to meet Sara and Nate.

Plus, I'd love to see pictures of the kittens with Pearl.

You are taking requests, right? :)

Heather said...

Hey friend-o-mine!

I'll tell you, age. Neil simply stated he wanted to enjoy his kids.

vjanak2001 said...

Whew, now THAT'S a tough question! We have our 3 (THANK YOU GOD - I worried that we would never bring #3 home!). I've always wanted a dozen - no, I'm not kidding! Children have been my life, even before I had any of my own. I know that we are really pushing it, age-wise, but I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to have at least one more, maybe two. Alan is torn. I think if the finances were better, he would like ONE more (not two). But it looks like we will have to be satisfied with our 3, who I thank God for everyday!

Still, there's a little part of me that prays, God, if we are meant to have another child, YOU will have to make it happen! I guess I haven't given up hope completely!